𝐎𝐒𝐇𝐔𝐍

one

waterfalls.

I was supposed to be dead. I was supposed to be hung among the stars, my eyes serving as the lights to a better place. Yet here I was, sightly intoxicated on a feeling that I couldn't explain. Something malice. Something so damn dark I couldn't find my way through it.

I remember,
my lungs on fire.
Gasping for a moment
of clarity.
I remember,
the screams
taunting me
with the thought
of losing the ability
to see
to feel
to breath.
I had nothing to
hold on to
but fate.
Something
that's not tangible.
I remember crawling
trying to reach out
to touch the shrieks
fearing life was being
ripped away
blowing through my fingers.
That's when I saw it
the light leave your eyes
and my heart filled
with the remnants
of your unspoken promises.

I don't like the fact that I can remember. I remember what it felt like, how it sent chills down my spine. I remember laying there, hoping that my demise would come next. I was rescued, but no one picked up the chunk of my heart that lived with the corpses of the people I loved.

I had no real reason to be alive, besides the fact I was. I hate that I was spared. Like death laughed at me. Like it knew that the very moment would plague me forever, sparing my life.

I was the last of my village. It was swallowed by the greed of the rich. The screams of my people followed me. I could hear them when I closed my eyes and if I focused hard enough I can identify the individual screams of my family. The gut-wrenching sound of innocent people being slaughtered simply because of control. Ash was a place of many secrets but what we held most pride in was our status. We were never the biggest tribe but we always had the most beautiful things. Our clothes shined as if they were spun of gold. And our architecture possessed such articulate and complex thought everyone marveled in the presence.

I never really felt alone until that day. I couldn't move from my spot for weeks. I ignored the growling of my stomach as I held my mother in my arms. Tears were permanently stained on my raw cheeks as every time a tear dropped a burn sensation would arise. It wasn't until I heard the voices of other people did I move from my spot. I hurriedly grabbed the very few personal things I could salvage and left the only home I had ever known.

I listen as the heavy waterfall beat down into the river. My eyes focusing on the little things in the vast area. I imagine vines twisting into knots and draped around my neck. Pulling tighter until the light in my eyes starts to flicker.

"You shouldn't be out here at this time of night, Akeelah."

The voice was baritone, sanded with the trials of life. Calloused hands reached out to me. I grabbed on with little might, feeling no need to try.

"And why not? Because you're not around to protect me?"

His orange eyes filled with regret. Flames danced in them showing the emotions he desires to show.

"That's not it, Akeelah."

I stare at him, wanting to feel the fire the lies beneath his eyes. If that feeling wrapped around and engulfed me would I feel better? He looked at me with a longing that had sat in him for years. I paid attention to all the times his hands would twitch, tempted to reach out and touch me. He wanted me as his own, but I was barely my own to give away.

"Then what is it?"

"You could get hurt. I don't doubt your ability to protect yourself but I don't trust others either."

He couldn't let me go. I could see it in the way his eyes pleaded with me. He knew that no matter how hard he tried I wouldn't feel that spark he felt when he looked at me. I had no desire to touch him or claim his as mine. I wanted him to let me go, so I could breathe. I needed him to heal without me so I could live.

"Sure."

I turn to make my way up the hill that led me down to the forgotten river. He grabs my arm gently, turning me to him.

"Why?"

I breathed in still slightly drunk on the feeling that starts to seep through my skin, guilt.

"I've forced myself to feel things that were fabricated. You deserve more than that, Anubis."

I wished my answer was different.

The only thing I was sure about was that I wasn't in love with the only person to show me true kindness, no matter how hard I tried.

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One, thank you so much for taking the time to read this story. I want to update as much as possible. This idea has been cultivating for so long and I'm glad I'm now able to share it.
Two, I would gratefully appreciate if you would vote, comment, and recommend my story! 🤍

-LeAjah