A Million Shattered Pieces

Chapter Thirteen

"The water is clear, but your wrists are stained. Your face says happy, but your eyes say pain."

Brock didn't go to school the first day back from Christmas break. I tried to tell myself it was nothing, to not let my mind drift as it so often did. Still, it was the worry that ate away at me every second.

I sat in the cafeteria during lunch, studying for our upcoming final exams, when Zoe dropped down across from me. The rest of 'our' group of friends joined seconds later.

"Hey, what you up to?" Zoe shoved a fry in her mouth, never taking her eyes off me.

The awkwardness of the situation seemed to bother just me. I pushed my glasses back up my nose and looked up. "I'm studying. You know, for finals? They start next week."

She waved me off. "Whatever. I never understood why you studied. You have to be one of the smartest people I know, always getting good grades on things."

"That's because I study."

Zoe paused her chewing. "You've got a point there. Anyway, that's not why I'm here. How have things been going with you and Brock? I noticed he's not here today."

I eyed the five others a moment before looking back at Zoe. "I would assume he's sick."

"Did something happen between you two over break?" Zoe's amber eyes lit up, and she continued to stare at me, a grin slowly spreading across her face. "Oh, my God! Something totally did!"

One of the guys sitting beside me guffawed. "Looks like our little Claire finally found someone."

Zoe's glare could freeze fire. "Shut up, Justin." Her smile returned when she met my confused stare. "That's great news, but..." The group took this as their cue to leave. Some mumbled a goodbye, picking up their food and wandering over to their usual table. Once they were out of earshot, Zoe's smile faded. "Claire, what do you think you're doing?"

"Last I checked, you didn't care what I do. You made me choose, remember? I chose Brock." I looked back down at my biology textbook, nose wrinkling at the sight of a pair of smoker's lungs. Images of human organs had always disturbed me.

A loud sigh broke my concentration. The textbook slid away, forcing me to focus back on Zoe.

"That wasn't a serious thing, and you know it. He's not good for you. I'm sorry, I know it's none of my business, but it's the truth. Everyone knows how depressed Brock is. He's about five weeks away from having a complete mental breakdown. I can even see it when he walks by in the halls."

I could sense the tears starting to come back. "Haven't we discussed this already? I know what I'm doing, Zoe." I snatched my textbook back, standing from the table, prepared to leave and find somewhere new to study.

Zoe stepped in my path. She was a few inches shorter than me, but it didn't stop her from demanding my attention. It felt as if everyone in the cafeteria was watching us. I could picture dozens of eyes on me, judging me.

"Let me pass."

She shook her head, "No. I need to know what's going on. Cut the mysterious girl bullshit! I'm just trying to help you, Claire! Why can't you see that?"

"Because you have no idea what it feels like to be at constant war with your head. Because you look at Brock and see nothing but a suicidal kid who's a few days away from slitting his wrists again." I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself before the rush of tears came. I looked up at Zoe, who had shimmering eyes. "Sorry. I shouldn't have talked to you like that. Excuse me."