Only Happy When It Rains

Chapter 7

Crying himself to sleep each night was becoming a dangerous habit for Can.

Even after Lemon's sudden death, Can had been able to keep himself together, somewhat. Sure, he had cried, but people expected you to cry when tragedy hit you like that – and life had to go on somehow. Can had had determination, and drive, to fill the hole his sister had left in his life.

But now... everything was catching up with him and he was scared... and for the first time in his life, he felt truly lost.

Things were fine during the day – he was keeping himself busy, and he was actually enjoying his time. The novelty of this stupid mansion and the black credit card he now had in his wallet hadn't worn off enough for his friends not to be happy to be invited here, but there was only so much you could do with this.

If there weren't any friends to keep him company, Can liked to play games on his incredibly high-end gaming PC – or spend entire afternoons in the modern, and very well-equipped private gym that he had found on the ground floor on his second day at the mansion.

Days were alright.

He could even pretend to be just an annoyingly rich bachelor with too much money and free time at his hands – and despite the temptation the black credit card presented, Can had largely resisted using it more than absolutely necessary.

He didn't want to give his in-laws cause for concern or appear like a greedy gold digger, who had only been out for a life of material comfort. If he understood the mess that were his in-laws correctly, the role of mindless over-spending spouse was already taken by Tin's socialite mother.

But at night, the façade crumbled.

The mansion was too big, too empty, too cold – and Can longed for someone to cuddle up to, feel warm and safe with, someone who would tell him everything would be alright... or even someone like Ley, who might go as far as playfully threatening him with a knife, but still smile at him warmly – someone familiar.

He hadn't seen his parents anymore since moving into the mansion.

There was no other room here anymore, just down the hall like back home, where he could knock and ask to join them, as he used to do when he was a child.

No jovial hug by his friends could replace that feeling for him – and sometimes, while he sobbed himself into sleep, trying to fight the coldness that threatened to wrap around him, he contemplated asking one of the domestic workers if they could sleep in his room with him.

Just... sleep, it could even be on a mattress on the floor, hell, even in the living room outside of his door would be okay.

But Can still knew it was inappropriate – and no matter how well he got along with them, he couldn't get close to any of them like that. This was still their place of work, and there were certain barriers that just couldn't be crossed.

Of course, if Can were entirely honest with himself, there was one specific person he actually craved to have next to him the most, like a silly love-drunk puppy – but Tin was behaving as cold as ever.

In truth, Can barely even saw him these days.

They sometimes accidentally met in the kitchen downstairs, if for some reason they went there at the same time. It might just be Can's pointless hope, but it seemed like these accidental meetings had become more frequent of late.

Not that meeting each other in the kitchen or outside in the garden actually changed anything. The encounters were always awkward, short and cold – and despite his yearning for intimacy with Tin, Can had started to avoid him just as much as Tin was clearly avoiding him.