The plethora of colours dancing up in the sky was astonishing, as to how such complex colours can come together naturally, the view it self was exhilarating, or was it perhaps because he was besides me right now? Every day I did see the sun go down, and the Orange skys turn black, but in this moment, I "felt" all those transitioning colors.
Mac moved in a bit closer now so our shoulders would just touch on every breath we drew, so as to remind me of how his thoughts came to my mind, from just thinking about nothing, to thinking about everything as the day passed.
"Snap out of it!", my brain screamed at my heart. "You've loved someone else all this time and you can't think about him like this. This is almost like cheating!"
"But has Samuel been with me every time ive shown him how vunerable I can get?", My heart spoke, "In fact, have I ever shown him this side of me? All that I fell in love with were the good times we had and the way he used to flirt with me. He only showed me a good time, never taught me how to turn a moment into one."
"What are you stressing on Abs?", Mac spoke with a rustic voice that overpowered the sounds of the waves crashing in the air, while barring a smile that could be compared to the songs that the sirens sang, luring in sailors to crash their ship in rabid waters. "Im soo happy we decided to come here and just look at the sun. To how submits its self to the ocean, all this is so humbling." He said after a short pause as I tried to pull my self together. "It's amazing how just a change of company completely changes the feeling of something that you do often."
He took the words right of my lips.
"Hmm, yeah" was all i could manage to muster out. I was lost for words in that moment of pure ecstacy and wonder.
And then suddenly he moved a bit away, just ever so swiftly, possibly in hopes that I dont notice, but I did.
"I didn't mean to make you feel awkward or to distract you from your chain of thought Abs, but you know how I just speak of what I feel."
And that is when I realized the difference my heart made me want to see all this time. He was always there for me irrespective of how I treated him, he was there to show me my limits and motivate me when I couldn't even get out of my bed on some mornings, he battled my anxity with love and care unconditionally, he stood up for me when I least expected it from anyone, but most importantly he helped me grow out and above, never complaining of the crap I threw at him. I used to be in love with prince charmings' and people who made me happy and excited; and make me feel that happiness and exitement would only exist when ever they are around, they played with my emotions with their words and humour, but that was never my fault because that is what we've been taught from childhood; to be with those that make you happy, but only now I understood what Mac ment when he said, when I told him I felt anxious around the people I meet and talked to daily, "The ones truly for you are those who help you grow. Notice them around you, they often stay quite and appreciate your growth when they see you happy."
I was ever only blinded by false emotions.
YOU ARE READING
Extraordinarily regular love
RomansaI write from the perspective of a girl (Abbie) filled with immense emotions, but has trouble expressing her thoughts.