That One Night Stand

27.

I took a week off work and stayed in my family home, helping as much as I could. I was still very numb inside and trying to stay emotionless. I texted work, stating I had a family emergency that couldn't be avoided.

I recieved many messages from Amy who knew the real reason why and a few from Tiffany. As far as I know, Tiffany knows of my family emergency, then two days later, she sent me a heartwarming text, telling me she knows what happened.

I smiled at all the love and care my friends sent me but I didn't reply. I was too numb to reply because if I did, I would break down again.

I've already cried myself to sleep the past four nights. I miss dad immensely and his non presence at home was hitting us all.

Even Lillian was out of sorts. The poor baby.

I looked at myself in the mirror, feeling sorrowful, seeing it in my reflection. My black dress was slightly too big despite the size and hung off me.

I rummaged around my room, looking for a gold belt of some sort and placing that on.

My make up I kept light due to I didn't want any smudges and leaks from any tears and I slipped on my low wedges. I kept my hair down but pinned back, letting the wavy curls do whatever.

Taking a deep breathe, I sighed, leaving my room. I went with Susie and Harry in their car, playing with Lillian's hands as she gurgled in baby noises.

The funeral was a nice affair in a small chapel. Patty and Ian were there, as were many of dad's friends from over the years.

We didn't bury or cremate dad, not yet. Dad wanted to be buried with his first wife and child, at another cemetery and Harry and I were going to respect his wishes.

We knew dad loved our mum, but his first love was his first wife who died with their child.

I stayed seated on the pew after the ceremony, staring at the spot where dad's coffin was. Every one else went next door to the wake where there were many treats available with tea and coffee.

Harry had delivered me a tea and sat for a while with me, but he was leaving, taking Lillian home as she was getting really fussy.

"It's okay. You go. I'll find my own way back home." I whispered blankly. "I'm not ready to go home yet."

Harry nodded and kissed my head, leaving me alone again.

I couldn't stop the tears as I silently cried. I paid no attention to who attended, I didn't talk to anyone. The one person I wanted to talk to was now gone and he was all I wanted right now.

I wanted dad. I wanted to hear him call me bumblebee one more time. I would give anything in the world to hear his voice again.

The photos Harry and I provided of dad for the service had broke me earlier and when it was my turn to stand up and say something about the man that helped raise me, I choked, no words forming and I couldn't do it.

Even now, while I'm all alone, I still can't form the words I want to express. I'm completely heartbroken.

My vision completely blurry from the wall of tears, I didn't see properly who had sat next to me. At first I thought it was Harry, but I remembered he left a while ago with his family.

I turned my head slightly, seeing the man next to me. I felt nothing upon seeing him, no frustration, no relief, nothing.

"What are you doing here?" I managed to croak out, my voice cracked and broken.

"Susie told me what happened. I flew in for the funeral."

I blinked several times, trying to comprehend on what was said. "Why? You didn't know him."

"Out of respect. Susie looked up at Billy like a dad. She loved him like a dad. Billy was good friends with Ian as well."

I sighed quietly but stayed seated, still staring at where dad's coffin was earlier. It was several minutes before I spoke again.

"I don't know what to do now." Was the soft statement. "Dad is gone and I don't know what to do."

Conrad placed his hand on top of mine that were sitting in my lap and I looked at him again.

"You take one day at a time. Losing a father is hard, but as each day goes on, a little bit of the pain leaves too."

"Why are you here?" I asked him again.

"I already told you." Conrad answered me.

"No, here. Why are you here right now?"

I heard Conrad sigh but his hand didn't leave mine. "Susie had to go. She asked me if I could check on you before leaving."

I looked down at his hand covering mine and saw the gold band on his finger. "You got married." I told him, remembering Susie venting to me, Tiffany explaining their arrangement to me as well.

Conrad lifted his hand away from mine. "Yeah." Was another sigh.

My original plan was if I ever saw him again, get him to explain what he tried to months ago, but I already knew, well I hope what Tiffany told me was the truth.

"I miss him so much." I suddenly whispered.

I felt Conrad's arm swing around my shoulder and he pulled me to him, comforting me. I let the tears run down slowly as I tried to regulate my breathing.

I didn't take in Conrad's scent. I didn't notice his bulky frame. All I noticed was that he was holding me while I buried my head into his chest and cried, his other arm wrapping around me.