About (Harry Styles)

27.

"Do you regret it?" I ask, my eyes glued to the ceiling as I lay tucked in bed. It's a shade of dark blue from the only source of light -- the moon.

"Regret what?" He responds. He's sleeping over by the couch again since the heating system is back up and working. Fortunately.

"Becoming Harry Styles. Becoming famous."

There's a long pause as he thinks of an answer, and I'm surprised how patient I am with him.

For the first time, I'm actually feeling privileged to be talking with Harry Styles. Millions of fangirls and fanboys would kill for this kind of time.

"No. I wouldn't change it all. I wouldn't do anything different," his voice is clear and honest. "I mean, there are moments where I imagine what life would be like if I made different decisions, but I honestly can't picture myself doing anything else."

I can already tell how much he loves what he's doing by the tone of his voice. I don't even have to be looking at him to know.

"Can I ask another thing?"

"Sure," he chuckles. I'm glad he's not sick of my questions yet. We've been doing this for about an hour now.

"What's up with all with the women? I know I shouldn't believe everything I read on the Internet. But I'm genuinely curious."

"I can't answer that, I'm sorry," he says, his tone completely humble.

"You don't trust me enough to tell me?"

"No, it's just .. Telling anyone really. I'm not allowed to say."

"Okay," I sigh over-dramatically, illustrating my disappointment even though I really wasn't. "You better be prepared for this one."

"I'm prepared."

"Have you ever been in love?"

"Yes." His immediate 'yes' stuns me for a moment. I expected he'd take a much longer time for this one as well but he's being really blunt about it which I like. I like candid and honesty.

"Really? With who?"

"Again, I can't say. How about you?"

"I have," I say, returning his candidness. 

"Was it that guy from the bar?"

"The bar?"

"You know who I'm talking about," he speaks with a hint of tension but quickly regains some composure by clearing his throat. "Are you two still together?"

"It's a long story," I say. "But no, we're not together anymore."

"I think we've got time."

"You've said that so many times before."

"Well, now I'm ready to listen. I won't talk, I'll just listen," he adds persuasively.

Shifting onto the right side of my body, I close my eyes and inhale a deep breath. I've never told anyone about this before except Marco. Why do I find it so easy to be opening up to Harry Styles?

I shouldn't let my guard down so easily. Besides, Harry Styles doesn't need to know about my past relationships. It's something I need to move on from. I can't keep going back in time, thinking about what I did wrong. It's not healthy. Like Chris said, it's in the past. 

"I don't think I'm ready to tell anyone about it just yet," I confess, an uncomfortable bulge settling in my stomach.

"I understand," he says, oddly comforting me. "Well, if it's of any consolation to you, he looked as though he still cares about you."