I don't live, I only exist

Chapter 2 - Feverish Fight

Rin POV

I woke up to the burning in my throat. I was in my bed, what was weird because the last thing I remembered was that I was sitting at the kitchen table. Sunlight shone through the curtained window and it meant that it's morning. "I slepped through the whole night?" That was achievement for me, usually I can't sleep because of nightmares, panic attacks or other things that just keep me awake. I sighed and looked at my right. I gasped when I saw Bon asleep, half laying on my bed. "He was probably the one who brought me here, and after that he fell asleep too." I thought. "Well I don't blame him, after all I was the one who told him to stay here at night" I stared at him for good five minutes, as he peacefully sleep. After that I slowly get up from my bed, looked at the time. It was early, I had at least two hours before I go to shool. I noticed I'm still in my school uniform from yesterday, so I took some clean clothes and went to the bathroom quietly as not to wake Suguro. I locked the door and took a shower. Once I was done I dressed up in black jeans and navy blue hoodie. I looked at the mirror and noticed the dark circles under my eyes, even though I sleeped peacfully today I was still tired. I didn't wanted to look at myself longer. I sniffed and took painkillers from the cabinet to calm down the pain in my throat "It will probably pass by later" I thought, but didn't wanted to bother myself with it for now so I took two pills and swalowed them, putting the can back to the cabinet. I walked out of the bathroom and saw that Bon is still asleep, so I went downstairs to the kitchen to do breakfast and lunch for the two of us.

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"Hi Rin!" I heard in my head as I saw Kuro sitting on the table, swaying his tail with happiness.
- Hi Kuro - I responded patting him on head. "You look tired lately, are you okay?" He asked me, I faked a smile and responded quietly.
- Yes, I'm fine. - well I wasn't but I didn't wanted to worry him, he is the only one who still trully care about me, he deserves better person than me to take care of him. "Okay" he hummed "If anything happens you can talk to me, Rin I'm worried about you" I smiled.
- Thanks buddy. - I started to make breakfast, I decided I'll do pancakes but I wasn't really hungry so I gave some to Kuro and left the rest for Bon. I went to do lunch, I sliced vegetables and that's when thoughts came to my mind "What was it all about yesterday? Why he changed his mind so suddenly? Can I trust him? I can't trust anyone, I know for sure that when I'll open up to someone again I'll be betrayed again. Why did anyone would even try to make up with me? I'm dangerous monster! I should just give up!" my thoughts were interrupted when I felt the stinging pain comming from my hand as I accidentally cut myself. I looked down and saw blood trickle down my hand it was like hypnosis. I calmly watched as red liquid poured from the cut and drop down onto the table.
- Good morning. - I heard and suprised looked back at Suguro standing in the doorway.
- Hi. - I quickly responded while washing my hand. - I made you breakfast. - I pointed at the pancakes on the table. He thanked me and started to eat.
- You won't eat with me? - He asked.
- No, I already ate. - I lied smiling and came back to making lunch.

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TIME SKIP
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Rin POV

- Here. I made lunch for you. - I said while giving him the box.
- Thanks but It wasn't necessary. - He said taking it from me.
- That's for yesterday. - I quickly responded. I took my bag and kurikara, and went to school. Bon went after me. We walked together all way to the Academy. We talked a little, it was nice to finally be able to talk to someone.
As we entered classroom Suguro walked to his usuall spot with Shima and Konekomaru already waiting for him, and I walked up to my spot at the far end of the room. I saw Shima and Miwa looking at me while talking with Bon, they were probably asking him what the heck he was doing with me. Well I don't blame them, I deserve this. The teacher walked in, bell rang and the long lesson started..