The Worst Decision

Love or abuse

She sped down the aisle, concentrating on each item she passed. She craved to stroll around calmly and enjoy her alone time but dreaded the consequences it could bring. Determined not to forget anything that her children needed, but also determined to get home as fast as she possibly could, she let her feet carry her faster.

Waiting in line she felt her cell phone vibrate followed by her ringtone, the bells chimed sweetly and soothing voices sang, notifying her of the incoming call. She grabbed her purse and after a few seconds of searching retrieved her phone and hit anwser. Before hello could leave her mouth she heard his familar angry voice yell into the phone, "where are you?", she shoved back the annoyance, not wanting to further upset him and cause him to raise his velvety voice any louder.

"I'm at the grocery store, i'm paying now, i'll be home soon." He grunted into the phone then continued to yell "it takes you 3 hours to buy food, you have 5 minutes to be home, you now how I get so don't upset me." She cringed as she hit the end call button. Getting different looks from people near her. His voice must have been loud enough for them to ease drop. She despised him a little more everyday, but knew it was impossible to leave. He had found her every time she tried. She decided to forget him for now and enjoy her last few minutes of quiet.

She walked up the stairs, not as fast as she could but at a slow, tiptoe. Hopefully he would be asleep. She had only been at the store for 45 minutes, but he claimed 3 hours. She knew he was in one of his moods. She knew what would follow his intimidating phone calls when he was haveing his mood. She knew the man for 9 years, married to him for 5. This past year everything took a turn for the worst. He had always been a jealous, controlling man, but this past year it'd gotten alot worse. She was always scared.

Scared he would come home angry for reasons she never understood, or come home accusing her when she was innocent. She never knew what to expect with him and knew he needed help.

She slowly opened the door, the loud squeak that always followed would surely bring him to her. To her surprise all was quiet. She scurried to the kitchen and put the food in it's proper place. Locked the door to their two bedroom apartment and headed towards the hallway.

Slowly she grabbed pajamas and a towel, the pajamas consisting of a long shirt and panties, comfortable but not very sexy. She didn't feel sexy anymore, so why dress like she did. She jumped into the shower letting the hot water burn her skin clean of his painful abuse.

How she longed for the man she married, the man he was. She quickly washed herself and grabbed a towel. Turning off the water she realized her middle son was up and crying. She tried to speed up and dress faster. She hoped her husband, the boys father, would calm him until she was finished.

Luck was never with her, the door to the bedroom flew open and she heard him stomping down the hallway. He slammed his fist into the door letting loose a string of disgusting words all aimed at her, ending in her recoiling and fear takeing hold of her body.

She told him she was comeing and waited for his retreating foot steps to open the door. She ran to her son, scooped him up and held him close. She breathed in his sweet baby smell and immediately calmed, her sons were her reason to keep going. They made it all worth it. She let a small smile grace her pink, plump lips.

Only to open her eyes and recoil and flinch at the sight of her fuming husband. He stood infront of her in all his psychotic glory, staring at her with blood shot eyes and a scowl big enough to show his shiny white teeth. She braced herself and shielded her baby boy from his view. She knew he wouldn't purposely hurt their sons, but he acted crazy when he was haveing one of his episodes. He automatically started fireing off questions, degrading her, beating her with words, fat ugly whore bitch prostitute, they continuously echoed, bouncing around in her mind.

When he was acting this way he would call her these names and worse several times a day. She repeatedly apologized and wondered why, she didn't do anything wrong. "You expect me to watch the boys all night when i work 14 hour days. I was asleep and he woke me up. You fat bitch, your getting fatter you no that. You look like a damn ball. Fucking ugly whore, jose told me you were talking to a black man at 711. What you fucking him to? Slut, damn whore." She flinched continuously at his every movement and gesture. Expecting him to lash out and beat her right there, infront of their children. The other boys were still asleep, but jace still sniffled in her arms.

She didn't dare say a word to defend her innocence or break eye contact. Afraid the demon who controlled her loving husband would devour them all. She simply nodded and frowned. Apologising once more before putting her full attention where it should always be, on her cildren.

She had always been loyal to him. They had their rough times but pulled through. She didn't know where these accusations were comeing from, but she wanted them to stop. Not even one of them were true and she was disgusted and outraged.

She layed the boy down kissing his silky smooth cheek and swaddling him tight. She slid into bed, as far away from him as she dared. To fall out of bed would meen wakeing the bear from hibernation. Resulting in her being screamed at, or worse. She lay there, wishing for sleep but getting none. She felt the covers move and opened her eyes. She jumped up when her eyes focused on his face inches from hers, mouth puckered and comeing to meet hers. She quickly rolled over and slid down. He must have met air, because he grunted in annoyance and smacked her ass. She hissed with pain, he must have assumed it was pleasure because he continued to slide her panties down. She attempted to roll away and almost fell off the bed. To her relief and horror he took the hint and turned around with the look of resentment in his eyes.

She curled up into a ball and let the torrent of tears fall. Exhaustion soon swept her away and she dreamt of all the current horrors in her life. Only to be awoken by a screaming newborn, ready for a bottle.

This is a true story. Please no disrespectful comments until you know the entire situation. She has her reasons, you will understand in time.