Drowning Lessons

Drowning Lessons: A Frerard Short.

My fingernails are covered in thick ink. Lines and circles are sprawled across the page in my sloppy handwriting. I don't hesitate for a second, writing jumbled words. The papery surface is covered in words, not even legible, but I don't care. I take a heavy inhale and quickly fold it up, my hands are trembling. I reach for my ripped back pocket and shove the note in, along with the plastic pen.

I shuffle out of my office, taking a look at all the drawings hung on the walls. At the door is one Frank drew for me. I place my fingers on it, and walk out to the bedroom.

"Hey, Gee," Frank grins. He's lazily laying on the bed, watching the television. Frank lightly pats the mattress to invite me next to him. I scratch my head and shake it. He frowns and asks "Why?"

"I...I'm going to take a bath," I mumble. I walk over to kiss his cheek and then head to the bathroom.

I lock the door behind me. Staring in the mirror, I scratch my moppy black hair. I'm hideous. I pull out the note and stare at it. Tears make my face blotchy as I write the final words:

Frank. My Frankie. I love you.

I fold it up one last time and place it on his side of the counter. I start the bath, warm water slowly rising. I cringe and take off my clothes until they are a pile on the floor. "Alright." I say to myself, and climb in. Water warms up my skin. I turn the faucet off and sigh.

I take a second to think. I try to think about my regrets or things I wished I would've tried. But...it just isn't there. All I can think about is Frank. "Frank Iero, I love you," I whisper. I close my eyes and bring my head underwater.

The water feels piping hot now as it blares through my nostrils. It's making my eyes sting. The lukewarm water fills up my nose and I start to cough, seeing bubbles rise from my nose. The rush of water above the surface gets louder and louder, and right before I realize I've fully lost the ability to breathe, I hear a large crash.

I cough wildly and I go dizzy. But I don't feel water. Am I dead? I feel it in my lungs and wildly choke. I attempt to breathe. Can I? I hear screeched in my ears, "BREATHE! BREATHE!" A pounding aches my back and I realize I'm being dragged. Then I'm commanded again, "VOMIT! VOMIT!" So I try. A mixture of water and blood gushes out my mouth.

After a few large spits, I can see clearer. My skin is being pinched tight, and I realize, it's Frank. He's gripping on to me, pulling me close to him as hard as he can. I turn my head to him. He looks terrified, tears drooling down his cheeks.

"Say something," He begs. "Don't just look at me like that." I give a raspy cough and I can't say a word clearly. Frank's bottom lip whimpers as he closes the toilet lid and flushes. He leans me up against the wall, and I weakly lie there. Wrapping a towel around me, he dries off my face with his almost-dry hand.

Frank hugs me tight and I slightly wrap my arms around him the best I can. He chokes out, "Never. Never do that again."