a melancholy crush

bed

Yawning a long, tired yawn, Zak flopped down on to his new bed and gently clutched the soft blanket. No use. No matter how tired he was, he couldn't fall asleep. Something just felt... missing, but he couldn't quite think of just what exactly was missing from the jigsaw. His eyes landed on the newly bought digital clock on his bedside table: 2.24AM. Why couldn't he sleep? Was it just because he was in a new place? A new home. Home. This was his new home now, together with his best friend Badboyhalo. Together. As friends.

Zak rolled over onto his side, groaning. Why just friends? What if he wanted to be more than friends? His mind wandered over to when Bad promised him that hug if they ever met. Just a hug, nothing more, of course. But... what if he wanted more than a hug? What if he wanted more than just a simple friendship with platonic hugs and 'I love you's? He badly desired more.

But isn't that being selfish? He angrily rolled back over, and over, landing on his stomach and burying his face in his pillow. Badboyhalo. Darryl. The pillowcase smelt of him, that new, delicious scent he had noticed once he first stepped foot inside the house. He must have used some sort of cologne; he smelt weirdly good.

A sudden familiar yell interrupted his deep train of thought.
"Do not type turtle! Stop sending turtles in the chat, oh my goodness!"

Surprised, Zak giggled into his pillow. He was streaming at 2 in the morning? Nothing new there, then. The boy's tired groans were muffled by his bedding as he rolled out of bed and stood up, dragging his feet along the ground as he gripped the pillow tight to his chest.

He hesitantly knocked on his door, hearing a panicky, "Oh, shoot. Did I wake Skeppy up?" Zak held back his laughter. He slightly pushed the door open and peered through the gap, seeing Darryl staring right back at him.

"Hi," he spoke with his tired voice, holding back a playful grin.

"Did I wake you up? I'm sorry, Zak," the man sadly said, looking up from his computer to the sleepy boy. He didn't bother to acknowledge the stream chat which was now filled to the brim with people spamming 'Skephalo'.

"No, no, you're fine. I couldn't sleep anyway," he muttered reassuringly, the corners of his lips curving up ever so slightly. "Can I join you?"

Darryl smiled from the relief. "Sure, I'm streaming." His eyes naturally wandered to the stream chat, only to be greeted by a swarm of 'Skephalo's. Instant horror. "Oh my goodness, why is everybody saying Skephalo? Stop it!"

Zak folded his lips to hold back a laugh, making his way to the bed and sitting on the soft bed sheets. He hugged the pillow closer to his chest. "I don't mind it," he mumbled under his breath, just loud enough for the stream to hear. Darryl immediately swiveled round to gaze confusedly at him.

"What did you just say?" he asked. Instead of finding an answer he ended up drowning in the sight of such adorableness. Skeppy gripped the blue pillow to his body, hugging it tightly and burying half of his face in it while looking up at him. It really was a much different experience seeing him in person so up close; he was much more cuter, and it felt so much more real.

"Nothing," the boy managed to say, hiding his massive grin with the pillow. Darryl broke out into a smile, turning back to face the monitor,

"It didn't sound like nothing."

"Magnifying glass tilted left, magnifying glass tilted left, magnifying glass tilted right, magnifying glass tilted right," instantly started playing from the stream donations right after, causing Bad to do nothing but face palm in defeat. Zak laughed out loud.

"Okay, guys, Bad doesn't like the donations and is tired so he's ending the stream now," Zak said abruptly. There was no time to disagree. "Goodnight everyone! We love you." Zak instantly reached over Darryl, clicking the 'Stop Streaming' button. Everybody was left clueless. They wanted answers.

Meanwhile Darryl was taken aback from the sudden closeness from Skeppy. The boy's beautiful face had just been next to his own as he leaned over to end the stream, and their hands met when he grabbed the mouse. His heart beat rapidly. He stiffened in his chair from sudden nervousness. Curiously, Zak waited for him to say something, sitting back on the bed and grabbing his pillow once again.

The man took a deep breath before loosening up and shutting down his computer. He turned to Zak.

"Why did you end it like that?" he asked.

"You need sleep. It's late."

Darryl raised an eyebrow, interested. "Is that all?"

Nervously, the boy pulled his knees up to his chest -- pouting ever so slightly -- and buried his face in the pillow. "You promised a hug."

He couldn't help but smile at that. "We hugged earlier, Skeppy," he mentioned, trying to see how he would react.

"But I want a real hug." He pouted. Darryl melted at that. It was too adorable for his poor, innocent heart.

Hesitantly, he stood up from his chair and sat beside Zak on the bed. It was so warm, and all Zak could smell was his unique, soft scent.

"You want a hug, then?"

"Mmh," Zak hummed eagerly. He wanted more. Slowly, the boy shuffled closer to Darryl, gazing into his emerald eyes before gently tugging on his shirt and snuggling up to him. He dug his face into his chest, wrapping his arms around his waist and pulling him closer. It was so warm, so incredibly soft and comforting.

Darryl felt his face burning up; his heart wouldn't stop racing. What was his little muffin doing? It was too much for his heart to handle, yet somehow he loved it. He didn't hesitate to wrap his arms around the little boy and he gently rested his chin on his shoulder.

"You're so warm," Zak muttered, tightening his embrace. He smiled contently and closed his eyes. Darryl was at a loss for words; he opened his mouth to say something but just couldn't get his words out. Time itself seemed to pause as they stayed together. Friends. Just a simple friendship, nothing more, was what this was. Their sad reality. But as Zak held him tighter, it felt like that very 'more' he had been longing for for such a long time. Seeing the man in person and being able to be held like this by him... it felt so ethereal, like a dream you're afraid to wake up from. A dream you would want to last forever.

After some time, Darryl slid his hands up to Zak's shoulders, delicately pulling away from the hug. His fingers ran through his fluffy, inky-black hair, gazing lovingly at his features. Zak's eyes fluttered open.

"Was that hug real enough for you?" Darryl asked, his voice low but sweet. Zak wanted to say no, that it was the complete opposite -- like an illusion, just a dream -- but instead he just nodded. It was but also wasn't enough. He desired more but despised that dreadful feeling of selfishness. Zak wanted to hold on. But he let go.

"Are you okay?" Darryl spoke. He must have noticed the incomplete, sad expression that ended up on his face. It felt so corrupt. They were nothing but friends; it was nothing but a friendly hug. So why did it feel so warm? Why did it feel so wholehearted? His heart was trying to fight its way out of his rib cage. What right did he have to feel this way?

Zak swallowed, forcing his forlorn expression into a smile.

"You're cute," he managed to say as he stood up to his feet. He subtly pat Darryl's head, making his serene facade more clear. "Goodnight, Bad." And with that, he left the room, not forgetting to take his pillow with him.

Darryl's gaze followed his every movement as he walked out.

"Goodnight, you muffin," he whispered. "I love you."