the untold truth | yuwin | the book 2 of grey is the truth

25.solitude

Heavy silence sinking the whole room, but Sicheng's mind was filled with voices and words.

Words which Jaehyun wrote in his diaries.

Again he wasn't listening to the rain. Once again Jaehyun was pulling Sicheng into his colorful world. And Sicheng didn't hate it. Jaehyun was beautiful, his mind, his feelings, his whole being. Everything about that painter man was admirable for Sicheng.

But before realizing, just by swiping the page that he just read. He was at the end of the notebook.

Sicheng's eyes widened, how didn't he realize?

A pain squeezing his throat and chest. Now even this colorful world ended, should he go back to his little rainy world again?

The boy looked at the notebook, he could see that many papers were ripped off really harshly, a little bit of papers were left but they were ripped so harshly that it even damaged the notebook itself.

Sicheng could see many little dark spots on the back of the page that he just read. They looked like tears.

Putting his finger on the middle of the notebook. Touching the ripped pages gently, it was really sad and painful. It was filled with anger, sadness and distraughtness.

Sicheng sighed. "He ripped these after Taeyong's death"

The boy was sure about it. It was obvious. Jaehyun's tears were left on the notebook, the spots didn't have any sound for sure but they were screaming painfully in Sicheng's
Head. It was interesting for him. As what Yuta said before, Taeyong was ill and suffered a lot but Jaehyun never wrote anything about it.

The man didn't want anything to be left from all the pain that his lover had to endure.

Before Taeyong coming to his life, Jaehyun wrote way more honest. About his own pains, his worst nightmares.

But he wrote none of these about Taeyong.

Jaehyun only wrote nice things about Taeyong. Describing him flawlessly beautiful. Only writing about how both were happy, how both laughed, smiled and loved together.

Maybe he wanted to leave only good things about that boy in his mind.

Sicheng took a deep breathe, getting up from the bed as he putted Jaehyun's diaries behind his other books.

Then he wakled into the livingroom. Cleaning around as his father was out to work.

But Sicheng couldn't do it.

The boy wasn't allowed to go out, until if it's with his father. And even if he get the boy outside, most of the times they'll go to places that no one would see them.

Just like how the rules were when Sicheng was still a child. He could remember them all.

"Look Sicheng, you shouldn't go out without me okay? You can get lost outside"

"Remember, you're not allowed to talk to strangers. Even when you're in school, don't let the kids to get so close to you. And never talk to the kids when we're in park. Just play by yourself, okay dear?"

"Don't pick up the phone when i'm not home"

"Don't think that you're alone honey, i know dad's out most of the time but we can't do anything else. You don't need friends Sicheng...you got me okay?"

His father used to repeat these nonestop back then. And even now those rules were repeating again. Wasn't it too much for a seventeen years old teenager?