Sometimes.
Sometimes I wonder if what happens to me will ever end.
Will my eyes ever run out of tears?
Will my mouth ever get dry?
Will my sobs one day be too much, my breathing can't keep up?
Does anyone notice I'm drowning in my own thoughts or do they simply choose to ignore it?
Sometimes I think to myself, if my sister hadn't passed away, would I still be the way I am today?
Would she be here by my side, rubbing my back and telling me to let it out and everything will be okay?
Or would she be with the rest of my family calling me names, telling me things and making me feel like nothing.
Is it too late to trade places with her?
Would it ever be possible for me to be dead and her alive, living an amazing life?
A perfect life, nothing close to the hell I'm living.
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Sometimes I wonder if the breakdowns are going to be a daily thing.
I wonder if it'll only happen at night or when people put me down.
Will it always be this painful?
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Sometimes I wish I didn't let that kiss come between us.
Sometimes I wish I pushed you away or fought harder for our friendship.
Sometimes I miss my best friend.
Scratch that, I always miss you.
Sometimes i regret letting our four year friendship vanish as quick as ashes from paper that is burning.
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Sometimes silent crying isn't necessary when you have a family like mine that doesn't really give a damn if they hurt your feelings.
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Sometimes things are done for reasons we wont ever understand.
Sometimes it's for the best and others for the worse.
A wise man once said "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened."
I've lost so many friends through high school and sometimes I miss them.
Other times I'm grateful for who stayed with me.
