Speechless: REWRITTEN

8. Magnolia

Roscoe

Once we get home, Gianna and I head off to our respective rooms with only a 'goodnight' between us. Then I got dressed for bed and just stared up at the celling, pondering. I mean, come on. She couldn't have expected a sorry excuse like 'platonically, of course' to work on me. I've been in the dating game too long, and I know when a woman is being shy.

But fuck, did it have to be Gianna?

Don't get me wrong, I...don't think I'm upset. I just feel confused now. I feel like I have something valuable that I have to maintain. But I just don't know what to do. I don't know what to do with this information. I don't understand... we argue so much over the stupidest shit and she...

Okay, relax. It's not like you have to do anything about it right now. She thinks that you think that she didn't mean it. You have time to get your thoughts in order. Maybe... maybe this is a good thing. I think I invited her out to the karaoke bar on Saturday because I want to spend time with her, get to know her without the roommate situation going on in the background. And it seemed like a good idea, but now it seems like I'm stringing her along. Making her fall even deeper for me. Is that really what I want?

I growl in the dark, and eventually, my restless thoughts carry me to an uncomfortable sleep.

The next morning, I realize that having these cloudy thoughts won't help me one bit. So I immediately call Mordecai (since he's at my disposal now) and ask to meet up with him, claiming it's a 'mini-emergency'. He remembers what that means and tells me to meet him at the IHOP down the street.

We meet up there, and I realize I have zero appetite, despite it being eleven in the morning. It's weird because I'm so used to being Mordecai's adviser, the one he ran to when he had a problem. After all, I was when he was going through things with Cheyenne. Now I'm the one who's conflicted over a girl, and that girl happens to be sort-of friends with the same girl that gave him problems almost two years ago.

I guess we know how to pick them.

"So, what's up?" Mordecai inquires after we get coffee. I don't even have the desire to take a sip, my brain is so muddled. I just hold the hot mug in my hands, keeping me here on Earth.

"I'm sort of in a dilemma," I sigh. "I guess last night at the Thanksgiving dinner... Gianna maybe, kind of, confessed her love to me."

"What, that's great," he congratulates. I give him a pointed look.

"It's not. I don't know how I feel. This girl has been annoying me for the past year and a half and all of a sudden, she wants to be with me? It's weird." Maybe the feeling I'm experiencing is skepticism. It's not adding up at all; how could she be so hostile, but underneath it all are feelings for me? It doesn't make sense.

"How do you know it's all of a sudden?" Mordecai asks me.

"Because!" I huff, sitting back. "I never got an indication that she was into me."

"I do find it funny how you're coming to me for relationship advice," he ponders. "But I'll do my best, I guess. Maybe she was giving signs that you're not used to. Not everyone is so blunt."

"Like what?" I groan. "She contests everything I say!"

"I don't know, maybe she's shy. Does she look at you a lot? Distance herself because she's nervous?"

"Why would you distance yourself from someone if you like them?"

He stares at me, not responding. I raise an eyebrow, and he just shakes his head. "Okay, Roscoe. I'm only telling you this because I care about you. But you tend to date a certain type of girl. The type of girl who's just minding her own business, and then you mindlessly chase her until she takes a chance on you, only to find out that she didn't even really like you. And now when a girl is actually chasing you, you have no idea what to do."