Speechless: REWRITTEN

24. Carnation

Cheyenne

I'm going to kill them, I'm going to kill them, I'm going to kill them—

"Pacing around the room angrily isn't going to make them let us out," Mordecai deadpans.

I spin around to him, shutting him up with my gaze. I'll admit... when I saw him, I went mute. He's definitely lost that boyish look to him, and opted for something more sophisticated with facial hair and classier clothes. It's like he's turned his entire life around. Or maybe he's more tired than usual. Something rude inside of me is hoping for the latter.

"I had a feeling their story was bullshit," I huff indignantly. "This is your apartment, isn't it?"

"Yep. And my brother is just freeloading."

"That's Robin?" I exclaim. "Was this some plan to get me to talk to you?"

"No, I had no intention of talking to you," he replies bluntly.

My hands unconsciously ball up. I've spent the last year and a half pushing thoughts of this man out of my head, just for my 'friends' to literally lock me in a room with him. I can't even say that I'm surprised that this happened to me. Now...all I want to do is let out this pent up anger for him that I'm feeling. When I found out the truth—from my aunt, no less—all I felt was my heart breaking over him lying for so long. I went through the grief and agony to get to a point where I could forgive him, not just for lying, but for also taking advantage of me. But now that I'm looking at him, and he has a stupid nonchalant look on his face, all I want to do is break his jaw and yell at him.

"How long did you know I was here?" I ask sourly.

"Just found out last week."

"You know, for someone who's supposed to be sorry, you sure aren't acting like it."

"What do you want me to say, Cheyenne?" Finally, some fire in his voice. "I'm sorry that I kept my imprisonment from you? At the end of the day, it was my business anyway. And a part of my life that I never wanted to revisit. So I'm sorry if I've learned not to beat myself up over one moment in time."

"We were in a relationship! I wanted to know everything about you! You knew everything about me."

"I was there to listen to you. To take on your burdens. I was fine carrying my prison burden by myself."

"But you didn't have to. That's not a one-sided idea. I was there for you, too."

"Cheyenne..." At this point, he's out of bed and standing in front of me now. He sighs, and presses a fist to his forehead, thinking hard.

I shake my head. "You were grooming me. You didn't let me into your life because you didn't care enough to tell me. You didn't think I needed to know because it wasn't helpful to your goal."

"Grooming?" I take a step back, because now he looks furious. "Are you kidding me? I didn't just want to fuck you! I was in love with you!"

"I know that's what you told yourself, but is that the truth?"

"Why would I lie to you? You already hate me. You already broke up with me. So here's the truth, the full truth, and nothing but the truth. When I was fourteen, I was roped into a scheme created by my brother, who you were just fucking conversing with just now, to murder his girlfriend because she cheated on him. He bludgeoned her and threw her in the pool. I was his getaway driver and I witnessed the whole murder. I also lied for him to the police, but they caught me in the lie. So I got ten years. Okay? That's what I went to prison for. Not some bullshit murder story your aunt threw out there. But you would've known that if you listened to me!"