The Matrimony

21// The silent treatment

Diana

Yesterday was a disaster.

After he had called me names, I ran out of his office, grabbed my stuff and left, thinking 'fuck him and his great hair'. I retrospect, I really didn't want his company to burn to the ground but a little evil part of me wanted Natalie and Dicky to succeed so he could come crawling for forgiveness.

You wish, inner me said. I couldn't chastise her, she was right. He would never apologise. Even if he found out the truth, he would just ignore till I give in and start talking to him again. But I made a promise to myself. I wasn't gonna cave.

He hurt me. Called me things no woman wanted to hear from the man she had been in love with since she was 15. And no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't erase that. I know he had a right to be mad at me. I left him, branded him a poor excuse of a man who couldn't support me and my lifestyle, but with good reason.

If only he knew.

This morning while he walked around getting ready for work, I layed in bed with my eyes shut tight hoping to make him believe I was sleeping. I wasn't going back to work. Not now, not ever. He seemed to stay a little bit longer. May be he was looking for something. Well he eventually gave up and left.

So here I was, baking every single treat that crossed my mind. I had it covered, from scones to the red velvet cake. I was officially bored.

I eagerly waited for my 5 year old ball of energy to come home. He was my only source of happiness now. At least he didn't call me names.

I heard the door opening which was followed by a loud, "I'm home". I laughed. Benjy always had a flair for the dramatic. He came into the kitchen and as soon as he saw me, squealed loudly.

"Momma!"

"Hi bubba", I replied with equal excitement

"I'm so happy to see you. You're never here when I get back from school", his face took on a sad expression, "Miss Gertie said you were at work"

"I'm so sorry baby but I'm here now and no more work for me"

"Really momma?", his beautiful eyes wide with hope

"Yup", I replied

He seemed to go into deep thought about something and then he gasped loudly, "Did you get fired?!"

I laughed, "No Benjy I didn't get fired. I just...I couldn't work there anymore. It was suffocating"

"Ok momma", then he seemed to notice all the treats on the table and gasped again, "Wow, whose birthday is it?"

"No one"

"Then why all the treats?", he asked while grabbing a chocolate chip cookie.

"I just felt like it. So you go shower and come down, then we can have a snack ok?"

"Yes momma", he scurried away.

The rest if the day was filled with adventures with my adorable 5 year old. We went to Chick-fil-A in the evening and chatted away. Well, he mostly did the talking while I just listened. When I asked about school he just shrugged and said it was fine. I wanted to press further but he swiftly changed the subject, telling me how much he had missed me. I decided to let it go.

For now.

After hysterical laughs, weird stares and Benjy's food baby, we headed home. On the way back I silently prayed he wasn't at home yet. I was willing to do anything to evade him as much as I could. I couldn't look him in the face without remembering what he said.