To staying hidden

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One Word... Two Syllables... It's the only word that causes me such grief, saddness and anger but yet so much happiness, love and affection.

Why couldn't the almighty god just give me a simple life without the complicated relationship, an unneccessary drama, emotional heartbreak and the thing i feared the most when I was younger... Loss.

I guess this is how life wanted to treat me. I should be able to move on, and get on with my life... But I can't....

"Mama" I snap out of my reverie and look next to my left to see Claire looking up at me. "Yeah Baby... What's wrong?" I kiss her forehead and she moves to lean against my side and gets comfortable. "Are we ther yet?" she whispers still looking tired and out of it. "not yet baby. In a couple more hours... Go back to sleep sweetie and I will wake you up when were nearly there." I smile down at her.

Claire looks up at me and smiles back. "Ok Mama. Can we get Maccas when we land" looking hopeful at me. I chuckle quietly. "Of course sweetie. Now if you go to sleep now it will make us get there quicker..." Claires eyes gets wider and she quickly leans back into my arm and mutters a 'night mama' quietly. I chuckle again and shake my head lightly. I whisper "Night baby and make sure the blanket is wrapped around her.

As I watch Claire fall asleep I quickly look at Dustin to make sure he is alright. He looked fine and so peaceful... I start to reminise again and think about Jayden.

The way his eye shone when he talked about his work, or how loving and caring he was when we were out on our dates... All the good things disappeared and came the realisation that he stopped doing that a month before I left. He started blowing me off saying that he had to stay at work late.

Then he stopped calling me loving endearments... OH MY GOD!!!! My eyes widen in realisaton. That wasn't the only time he cheated on me...

Tears start to well up, on the brink of flowing but I had to tell myself that he isn't worth it. I had two kids who I love and adore. I've spent 4 years without him why start now..

"... thank you for flying Air New Zealand" I blink my eyes to get me back to the here and now. I look around the plane and see people starting to grab their bags and etc. I look to my left to see my kids smiling and laughing with each other. It makes me smile at the thought of what I've accomplished without Jayden in my life and the kids life.

"Mama, we go to Macca's now" Dustin said to me. I look at Dustin and raise my eyebrows. "How'd you know about that Dustin?". Dustin had an innocent look on his face and when I looked at Claire she had the most charming beautiful smile on her face. Immediately knowing it was Claire who was the culprit.

"Claire??"

"Yes mama.." Claire and Dustin started giggling a way which put a smile on my face. "Did you tell Dustin about Maccas?" Pretending to be stern to her. She shakes her head "No Mama..."

"Then how does Dustin know about Maccas?'' Claire shrugs her shoulders. "I don't know mama..." She leans up to my ear and whispers "It was Aunty and Uncle." My lips turn into an 'O' as soon as Claire had said that I looked up to the culprits and were waving guiltly at me. I quickly look down at Claire "Sorry baby..."

"It's alright... We go to maccas now.?" I laugh "Yeah come on let's get some food." They both squeel loudly and run to where their aunty and uncle are waiting just outside of the plane. I grab our belongings and start on my track to the twins and trying to talk myself up that I will not see Jayden.

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"What do you kids want?" "PANCAKES!!!!" They both yell at the same time. I chuckle slightly. "Ok then.. Why don't you go and sit down by Aunty and Uncle while I get everything here."

"Okay" They both said and ran to the table that Tre and Eden were sitting at. "Hi what can I get for you?" I heard quite a muscular deep voice behind me. I turn to look behind me to see quite the hotty.. "Oh hi... can i get three pancake meals with hot chocolate please." I say with a sweet smile.

He returns the smile "Of course. That will be $18 and your number.." I shake my head and chuckle while I grab the change from him. "You don't even know me" while looking at him.

He puts his hand out and grabs mine. "Hi my name is Blake, I'm 24. I work at mc Donald's during the day and I own a club during the night." He smiles at me warmly waiting for my introduction.

"Hi my name is Leila, I'm 25. I'm a part-time model and business owner during the day and a mother of two at night." Blake smiles brightly at me. "There we go now can I have your number?" Looking hopeful. I looked at him confused. "Aren't you put off that I have two kids already?"

"No way, they look like a bunch of cuties. And plus your one hot mama so..." I roll my eyes thinking what the hell gotta forget Jayden some day now. I grab the receipt that he gave me and wrote my number for him while he got my food. As soon as I got the food I gave him the receipt back and told him that I will see him soon.

"Here you go sweeties.." Before I could finish my sentence I heard a commotion at the doors. I looked over and saw the two people I thought i wouldn't see this early in the trip.

"Babe... Come on! Let's go somewhere more.... Adequate instead of this ghetto looking place." The whining voice of my oh so lovely sister said. "Look Hayley. I want maccas, so if you want to go somewhere else I suggest you go by yourself." And that my friends was the anguish voice of my ex... Jayden.

"But babe. We're meant to be engaged which means your meant to agree with me" I pretended I wasn't listening and carried on giving the kids their pancakes. "Yes we're engaged but it doesn't mean I have to agree with you does it?" He sounded like he was getting angrier by the second. "This was the agreement Jayden..." "DONT!! Don't you dare go back to that. Because of you I lost the love of my life... Because of you I lost my kids that I will never know so don't you dare refer back to that agreement again because I have done everything you have asked of me so that I keep Leila... Your sister safe."

"Babe don't bring that bitches name up in conversation. She gets everything she wants but not now... Now I have everything that she ever wanted." "You know what. Stop. Just stop.... Let's go I've lost my appetite now." They walk out the door leaving a quite mc Donald's behind. And myself thinking and wanting to know what they were talking about. If what I got from it... Hayley is blackmailing Jayden with something that would've broken either us apart or broke me...
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"Hi welcome to parks hotel how can I help you?" The receptionist asked me. "Hi I have a reservation under the name Leila" the receptionists smiled at me and checked the computer. "Oh here we are, suite for 2 kids and 3 adults and staying for 2 weeks?" The receptionist looks up at me and I give her a small smile and a nod. "Ok well here is you key.. Will you pay when you leave?" I nod again "yeah if that's alright..."

"Yeah it will be.. That will be $2800 for the two weeks." "Ok thank you"
Dustin and Claire wave bye to the receptionist and we walk to the elevator.

"I said no Hayley. I've had enough of you shit.. Get you stuff out of my house this arrangement is over."
I pushed the kids onto the elevator so that they weren't listening to them arguing. "..... Of the argeement." " I don't care. Pack your shit."

As soon as I got the kids in the elevator I turned around as the door was about to close. I looked up and I happened to see Jayden looking straight at me...

I froze. No he is going to recognise me...

The doors closed and I saw Jayden's eyes widen in realisation.
.... Well shit...

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Sorry for the late update.
School is hectic and I just had my first graduation dinner last night.
Thank you for you patiences and please give me feedback. If you want.
Oh and I don't know the prices for pancakes so yeah sorry..

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