My Poems

Oh Why Must I Have A Heart?

Why Must I Have A Heart?

(Inspired by an event that brought me to the real world)

A/N: This poem can be about so many things, but in my case, I had profanities flung at me. I never experienced something like this, to have someone just call me something, because of who I am, and how I was known among my friends. Of course, like first time, I took it badly. I wrote this poem, and yes, it's long, very VERY LONG, perhaps I over reacted in this, or I'm just an awesome nerd :P. But every emotion, every feeling I felt, is written in this.

I hope you like this, and perhaps you might have a mutual feeling. Please comment and votes, I love hearing from people about my work.

And jokes; they are funny when everyone laughs, but not when they erase a smile.

***

I was happy,

A simple word,

That expresses the wonderful aura within me.

My life was with them, I thought,

And like my oblivious self,

I had convinced myself this.

Then a word,

A simple one,

Yet so offending,

Floated in the air,

Ringing in my ears.

And with that,

I'm crushed.

More words flow out of that thing,

People surprisingly call,

A mouth,

And the burden increased.

Burden of what?

Of taking something,

So awful,

With such ease.

I felt it,

Shaking me,

Trying to buckle my knees,

To turn my soul inside out.

I fail, and he succeeds.

He pushed those words,

Like a dagger,

Right to where it hurts the most.

Oh why must I have a heart?

They think I'm weak,

And they stand up for me.

They watch me,

With sad eyes,

Wondering,

How a simple word can break down,

Those thick barriers.

So I quietly mourn,

On the inside of this body,

The only thing,

Exposing my forlorn self,

Are these tiny drops,

Of salty saturated water.

Oh why must I have a heart?

I am a human,

That supports friendship,

And the serenity of peace.

But truly,

I wish him ill,

That one who dares,

To blurt such words,

Without any thought.

I wish,

His life was a misery,

That his soul was suffering,

By the hell hounds that escaped from the gaping hole in my heart.

It's so surprising,

How ill my thoughts can be,

When I have always thought,

I was the neutral one,

I was the polite one.

But I wasn't.

Now my heart is tainted,

By those ill thoughts,

By this hatred,

I have for him.

Oh why must I have a heart?

In the end,

I realize,

After it was forgotten,

After the tears were caked dry,

That life is harsh.

I deal with the issues that life,

recklesslythrows at me,

And quickly move on,

Waiting,

Ready for the next throw.

And yet, it always takes us by surprise.

I'm growing up,

And as I progress,

Life throws bigger issues,

That must be taken with pain.

Deaths,

The end of relationships,

lovely friendships,

And the pain of a broken heart.

I realize,

That maybe,

It wasn't meant to be,

Perhaps that is why,

the word adption was created.

But to adapt,

You must forget,

And to forget,

Forlorn will come,

And fill your heart,

Till the time is supposedly right.

This is only the beginning,

To a life filled with shocking surprises.

Oh how I despise them.

Oh why must I have a heart?

For it is beaten to the pulp,

Crushed by emotions,

Sometimes tainted by unimaginable things.

Oh why,

Must I have a heart?