FALLING SLOWLY ||Complete||

Tales of the broken

It is when he is lying broken, bruised and bleeding on a floor that is too cold, in a room which is too dark that the memories filter through a hazy veil that flits back and forth between oblivion and wakefulness. Outside his mother’s heels walk away, he could hear her wheezing in anger, some glassware breaking before it is all swallowed by whimpers that escape his own bleeding lips and the burning in his ribs and silence that bids the memories to play over the darkness that takes him down.

In that life he is a prince.

The title burdens expectations on him until he is crushed under their weight, hopes of a clan - a mother who was stripped of her honor - of a sister who always chased after power. Tied to a marriage that supposedly saved his family, overwhelmed by the love of a wife for whom he felt only a little gratitude. He imagines of a stale world like that.

By the time the last rays of the sun vanishes outside, and the bleeding stops - his bones beginning to freeze from lying on cold for so long - the first image of her - rosy cheeked and beaming at him, returns. Her name leaves his lips in a cracked whisper, his hand outstretched as if they are still treading through ankle deep snow and she needed him to steady her - his fingers curl around nothing and dark spots dance across his vision.

“Soo - yah…”

In a field of yellow flowers, under soft sun and spring breeze, he watches how she smiles. Pretty - like an angel, and his heart is filled with hope. He lets the dark thoughts settle in place, too transfixed by the hope she brings. His angel of light - his saviour. He needs to leave this hell to find her and she would love him - smile at him like in those memories.

The next time the devil comes for him - he does not go without a sound. The memory is hazy when he thinks back he can hardly re - summon the confidence with which he related the last moments of his mother to Attorney Yoo. For he knows - in some corner of his mind - the fire didn’t start abruptly. Oh well - he remembers spilling the kerosene - he remembers the dark red that tickled down his mother’s forehead as she lay sprawled where he had pushed her.

He clumps down the memory. It was needed - it was his fight for survival. It was needed. As he learns of his true identity - of his real mother, more confident he becomes in his choice. He was never meant to rot away in shadows, but rise to light and find her.

But then his real family is as twisted as it had been thousand years ago. Expectations begin to pile on him - making him weary, making him stumble. He feels sorry for his mother - for all that she had gone through. But it is hard to forget she could have saved him a little earlier. It’s hard to look at her and not to recall the devil she had entrusted him to.

But she loves him. He makes peace with that. She tries to make amends. He could forgive her simply for how she avenges him on So. He is sure her bitterness has nothing to do with his past memories. It seems he is the only one who remembers. But it feels so satisfying to watch how the man who stole everything from him is being crushed in this life. He helps her along - keeps her secret, and prays in silence that it hurts much more than the boy lets on.

And in contrast to her hatred for So, her affection for him is boundless. Her love hardly washes away the scars of her absence yet he relishes every caress, every look of affection, of pride, every soothing word of praise. His mother - he clings to her with greed. His!

He works to the best of his ability, becomes the man she wanted him to become. He becomes her secret keeper, her right hand. He has no love for the brother she keeps hidden, but makes an effort so that he is the only other one who can tame him. He passes with flying colors so that she would hug him with the same bursting pride. A doctor who could infiltrate the ranks of the Hwang Hospitals, who could steal loyalty from those under Mu. He learns so that he could save those she wants to and finish off those she doesn’t want meddling in - with finesse. He feels like a magician dubbing in dark magic, as he learns how innocent things could be manipulated to cause harm that would never appear in charts.