FALLING SLOWLY ||Complete||

Bitter kisses

Once the rain stops, the quietness wakes her up. Chill had settled in her bones, sweat clamping her hair against her skin, Ha Jin wakes up to a parched throat and his faint touch. She feels his finger tips ghost over her hair and recalls the rough hands of that man - greedy, brutish, overpowering. Had he tainted her so much that So finds it repulsive to touch her? The thought wrenches her heart so painfully that it makes her flinch and even the faint touch is retreated at once. Her eyes snap open, just as he is rising from her side, her hand seek and hold him on their own volition - unrelenting and desperate.

“Water -” she croaks, the other hand massaging her throat. He pours her a glass and move closer to help her upright. They both feel the shudder that runs down her spine when his palm makes contact with her back, and he is quick to put distance between them. As he holds the glass to her lips, So avoids her gaze determinedly.

It breaks her heart as she is reminded of a darker threat, spoken by a man long gone.

“He will flinch before touching you once I’m done…”

“Look at me,” she demands, her voice hesitant. Tears brim her eyes as minutes pass without him complying. Broken, she feels hollow, worn and torn. “So please…” unchecked her tears drain down, she tastes them on her lips but makes no move to wipe them away. Instead she notices the bruises on his face, the clothes on his frame.

“Are you leaving me here?” She wishes she does not sound so timid, so hopeless. But she does, a broken sob punches the end of her sentence and she clasps a hand over her mouth. He is leaving, that much is stark on his appearance she chokes on her own breath.

“I need to go,” he sounds detached, his eyes still focused on her hand. “I can’t stay here.”

This time when he rises she does not hold him back. So bites his lip and prays she lets him go. His presence is a weight he doesn’t wish to impose on her, not when his face brings her worst nightmares to the surface. It was his greed that had him linger for so long, but his love would not let him remain and scar her. The circle of fate, brings them back to that point - where walking away is the only way to keep her safe. This time he is not the fool he was, this time he would deal with everything that threatens to harm her before walking away. He clutches his fist, wills himself to move away when all he wanted is to hold her and never let go. He must - he tells himself. He must.

That is why the banging on his door takes him by surprise, just as the rain starts its ballad, and the thunder rattles in distance. As if conjured out of his longing she stands there - puffed eyed, tousled haired a reflection of his own desperation.

“Ha Jin - ah?” He murmurs her name, pulls her in without a second thought. But as soon as the door is shut and she stands leaning against it, with her comes all the half healed wounds he had caused on her fate. “What are you doing here?” He demands. If Yo has a hand in this - God forbid, his brother is going to face his ire. They had talked this out, had decided it was he who had to do this - see this to the end - Yo had promised him.

She doesn’t reply, instead tears brim her eyes and her lower lip tremble. Whatever courage that had brought her there - seemed to fail her, when the confrontation comes. Unable to help himself, So strokes her cheek with a cautious hand. His guarded eyes remain on the edge, waiting to withdraw the moment she flinches, daring the pain her rejection would cause him. Guarding her against him was only one of the reasons - guarding himself against that heartbreak was the other. He couldn’t bear to see the evidence of the ruination he had caused her - a girl who was once so whole and pure.

“He touched me…” her voice is a whisper, but sharp and cutting as a shred of glass. He wonders if it is meant for him or for herself, but the words plunge into his heart. “I don’t know what he did - but I know it was him. Every night - he was there. And I couldn’t stop him.” Her sigh is restrained, as if she is choking on the memory. “Does that - is that what disgusts you?”