FALLING SLOWLY ||Complete||

Precious

Tokyo, July, 2020

Sky, deepest hues of purple is dotted with scattered sparkles of stars. A crescent of moon hangs low nestled on cotton clouds and bathing the world below in sliver. Spring air is pleasantly warm and night falls like a shroud over the city that begins to light up. Several floors above disconnected from the busy streets and the general chaos of the bustling city Ha Jin breathes the night in - rather grateful for the freshness that rejuvenates her entire being.
She is pacing the length of the rooftop garden, leaden with greenery and heavily perfumed buds of spring bloom - trying to coax her annoyed eight months old into getting some sleep. Unconsciously as they move she glance up at the sky and stills allowing the palest of moonlight to caress both her and the baby.
There are lanterns dangling by the edges of the terrace - the groves pleasantly lit by their multicolored glow. Seol is usually fascinated by this sort of displays that Ha Jin believes it would ultimately take her mind off their current difference of opinions. Seol is missing her Appa and Ha Jin is well acquainted with the feeling - but nap time has no compromises.
So she paces, rubbing her back soothingly and pointing out the pretty lights. It was originally a technique So had came up with, when Seol was smaller - to pace with the fussy infant while talking to her in his baritone. The pattern would soon catch up and the little devil would fall sleep - drooling into her Appa’s shoulder. Ha Jin could only hope it would have similar results with her as well.
However her luck today was running rather thin. Without So’s voice that usually lulls her to sleep and having spent long time without seeing her Appa had turned the usually calm Seol into a rarely seen devilious one. She is usually quite an angel and her tantrums are far apart. But when they start it is quite a feat to calm her down. Ha Jin sighs.
The semi - finals had just finished, it was near impossible to get So on phone now. She was yet to see the event for herself - their flight was on air at that time. But on the way from airport, until they settled and through the entire dinner Jang had given her a perfect minute to minute recount of happenings.
It would be rude to call him now. Plus tomorrow was the most important day of all and her entire effort of flying here would be wasted if she gives away her mere hint of their location. One the man would come running to them - two it would do him no good to be distracted. So already had quite a lot on his plate even though he rarely allows her to see.
Getting back to his professional standing had not been a cake walk. Though Seol had brightened up things considerably, going head to head against years of bad PR attorney Yoo had riled up around them is no less than a battle. He would often promise that he does not care but Ha Jin knows better. It is no secret to her how much he still cares for the woman - who know in the realization of her own guilt is a subdued and withdrawn character.
Her punishment is yet to be over and her uncle is not very far behind. The management of Hae Group is not as cumbersome as Ha Jin had once imagined. The Tax evasion issues were solved smoothly with occasional advice from Yo and she would not be bothered with those right at this moment. Truth had set them free in more than one way and she could only hope the sail forward would continue to be as smooth as it has been.
She was tensed and rightly so. So had taken an ultimate leap of faith and she was afraid for him. Closing her eyes, she trying to grab on to her courage and involuntarily conjures up an image of So, peering down at her, lips tugging upwards in a crooked smile as he strokes her cheek.
“No more hiding,” he had said. Indeed this time he would not be hiding his scars from the eyes of general public. It is a testimony of how far he had come from feeling inferior and conscious about how others thought of him - but still, opinions of greater majority would swing at a blow of air.
No body had talked of anything but his past during the heats and she had wanted nothing but to take him into her arms and make sure the turning tides of various busybodies dissecting his personal life did not affect his mindset. He is miles away and there is little she could do. It was never like standing before him and looking into his eyes and her So is a master at hiding his own emotions.
So she had flown before the finals would take place for she could not care being a bystander any longer.
Seol is tired, she does not like unfamiliar places and she is terribly - terribly missing her Appa. It seemed as if she was determined that today she would not be sweet talked out of this and would only be put to sleep by her father. No matter how beautiful the lights are! Instead she pounds her fists against her Omma’s shoulders and pulls at escaped strands of her hair - trying to put them into her mouth. Ha Jin is jerked back from her train of thoughts when she tugs quite hard finally managing to grab her attention.
For a moment she stares at her angry baby working herself into another classic tantrum. The tip of her nose turned red and her lower lip turning down, eyes that looks very much like her Appa’s scrunched up. For a moment before she wails again and big fat drops of tears dangle from her pretty eyes - she makes quite a funny picture and Ha Jin’s mouth curls upwards.
“Attention seeker,” she mumbles, getting back to her mission of pacing. “You don’t like it when Omma thinks about someone else huh?”
Seol continues to fuss, pointing at the swing that looks rather abandoned among all the lanterns and Ha Jin complies, settling down on it with the baby in her arms.
“Our Seolie wants to watch stars - umm?” She coos, cuddling the baby and pointing out. “Aren’t they pretty - Seolie likes stars right?” She kisses Seol’s clenched fists and nuzzles her soft cheeks. “Do you know Appa loves stars too - just like Seolie!”
Seol calms down a little at the mention of her favorite person and stares at the stars with wonder filled eyes. “You miss Appa - don’t you darling?”
Seol looks at her, pouting and fiddling with the pearl of her ring.
“Appa!” She says suddenly jerking Ha Jin into a stunned silence.
“What did you say baby?”
“Appa -!” Seol claps her hands and tilts her head, looking with eyes full of wonder as her Omma’s face fills with undiluted joy. Then as if to affirm her achievement, her childish tongue utters her very first word once more - slowly. “Appa…”
**
He smell of chlorine. At the end of last practice session for the day that is all So could think of. Coach Park and his other coach from US had not wanted him to go all out on the semis. Securing a place was enough - it was the final that mattered. However, back at his room and standing by the window staring at the untouched covers of his bed - he still feels dissatisfied by his own performance. His shoulders ache a little - nothing that a few hours rest out not dissolve. Still he is staring at the mobile in his hand rather moodily.
Ha Jin had not called.
He had not talked to her or Seol in a couple of days. Obviously the training schedules had been tight and he couldn’t bring himself to call her up at the middle of the night. So knows how fragile Seol’s sleep is - if the ring of a mobile woke her up it would mean Ha Jin would not get a wink of sleep for the rest of the night. She liked to take care of Seol by herself - instead of using the help of nannies as his father had helpfully recommended.
So agreed with her. He liked spending time with Seol - it felt like living moments he had snatched from the claws of fate. Being the father he always wanted to be to their little one. Ha Jin would complain at times that he was hording up all the hours Seol spent awake - but he would dismiss her with a cheeky grin. She did not mind seriously - for she knows - he knows that she knows - he is rewriting the darkness of his own childhood with new memories of their baby.
Closing his eyes he sighs, giving the need to cuddle his child to burn his heart. He had never felt home sick but he believes that is what he is feeling right then, imagining Seol’s tiny fingers tracing his features. His face fascinated the baby for some odd reason. She would rub her own cheek against the light roughness of his five - o - clock shadow every night and giggle loudly prompting So to toss her into air making her giggle harder.
He stares at the phone for another minute before tossing it aside. He would not call. He was not that petty. But then - he almost stretches out to snatch it back from the bed it was tossed into - he misses them too much.
Before his fingers curl around the mobile it begins to ring - flashing with Ha Jin’s personal number. His heart skips a beat and he grabs it quickly, sliding to answer.
“Yes, love?”
“Appa?” Instead of Ha Jin a juvenile voice pours out and So stills, clutching the mobile tightly to his ear, his muscles frozen.
He could hear Ha Jin giggling in the background and he imagines her holding the mobile against Seol’s ear, while the baby blabbered away making sounds that sounded like she was soaring with glee. He could hear her clapping as she chortled and told her Appa all about her day - nothing of which So would ever understand.
Then as if unsure he had apprised her achievement or not, she says again, rather slow and delightfully her first word ever. “Appa…!”
“Seolie?” He manages to mutter in the end, life returning to his body slowly. His veins flood with warmth and his heartbeats oddly, overwhelmed and a little hesitant. His throat is dry - and his eyes prickles. He had waited thousand years to hear that one word - spoken from those beloved lips.
Seol continues her incoherent conversation and So sits down slowly, cradling the mobile as if it is something precious, breathing slowly and allowing the moment to wash over him. After a long while of father - daughter conversation Ha Jin gently takes back the mobile and lays down on the bed, where Seol is now starting a fresh peak - a - boo game with her soft toy Mr. Bon Bon.
“Hello Appa - aren’t we smart?” She asks beaming, feeling a little lightheaded herself with glee.
So exhales the breath he had been holding on to and wipes his face with the back of his hand.
“Ha Jin - ah - I - wow! I don’t know what to say…!”
“You don’t have to,” she tells him softly. “I know how much you wanted this - her very first word So - yah, I’m so happy!”
“Thank you…!” he says a moment after her words had trailed off. “You’re too wonderful for me - that I can’t even - thank you!” She hears the weight in his voice, the slight catch of his breath and wipes away a tear of her own.
“Now Appa - we are getting desperate here -” She says in a cuddly tone and So imagines her tickling Seol as she speaks, he could hear the baby’s laughter in the background. “So you better get us a medal and come home soon!”
“Of cause I will -” he tells her, a ghost of a smile playing across his lips.
“Yayy - Seolie is happy! Seolie loves Appa!”
“And what about Omma - doesn’t she love Appa?” He teases, eyes sparking with mirth.
“Of cause - after all from who did Seolie get the trait of missing you?” Ha Jin chuckles. “Good luck for tomorrow - husband! Sleep well tonight and dream of us - we are prepping for a night shift with Mr. BonBon and mama bear!”
So laughs and presses a sound kiss against the mobile as he imagines his two favorite girls cuddled up together with the plush pink bear and the soft bunny.
“I’m still trying to work out what to do with so much love…” he mutters to himself as he settles down to sleep himself with the mobile still pressed to his ear.
**
It is no longer a lonely summit. He thinks as he stands at the aisle. The distant voices caress against his senses and instead of the void he is familiar with warmth fills within him. Still he is holding into that precious memory from the night before - of his baby’s first word and his heart is bursting with warmth.
There are people here to specially watch him, support him in his leap to glory, he feels their eyes on him as he falls into the routine stretches of warming up. The homely scent of chlorine is the water’s call - and he waits for the signal.
He takes a fleeting glance around the thousands of people filled into the aquatic center. The waving flags, the cheering voices. So many - standing together - so many - with their hopes pinned on him.
The air he inhales burns its way down and he feels the tingle of nerves.
Then his heart skips a beat.
It is because he knows her so intimately that even with the distance between them, he could very well recognize her figure among many. Moreover they are in the family box. He should have known. Jung stands beside her bowed down to pull Seol’s cheeks and she is laughing at the antics they put up, before stilling herself.
In an instant the awareness that had befallen him takes hold of her as well and she turns perfectly atuned to his gaze and finds him staring at her. Their eyes meet and in an inexplicable - half conscious rush of emotion they both feel the sizzling joy that runs through them and their lips curl simultaneously.
At that split second everything dissolves and he turns to her like a flower to sun, basking in the warmth of her smile - the sparkle of love in her eyes - in that split second he is a man with heaven in his arms and he inhales that euphoric feeling in and holds it against his heart as he breaks the surface.
There is beauty in his clear cut movements, sleek and powerful like that of a panther - his arms rise through the silver sheen of water, breaking off from the dive, rising from the folds of water already far ahead from the rest.
She watches how power shifts from his flexing shoulders to the beautifully sculptured arms and part the water - knowing the ache of muscles burning as he pushes forward but seeing nothing but elegance and practiced perfection. The raw power could have parted the sea and Ha Jin forgets to breath - her eyes remain fixed on the man who had taken hold of her heart and soul and her heart sears with pride and love.
He used to be a good swimmer - she had seen him before, when he was younger, when he was learning. But he is an artist now - a dancer - an elementalist who commands the water that wraps around him and falls back in a dance of power.
What in reality is a matter of seconds feels like an age when he hoists himself off the water.
The stadium erupts.
Deafening waves upon waves of euphoria washes over Ha Jin who feels quite overwhelmed clutching Seol to herself and burying her tear stained face against her softness, she beams - wordless.
The anthem plays and she watches him being decorated with his achievement, the dream that finally rests against his heart and her emotions choke her breath. The words they never wanted are no longer between them yet the silence resounds with vows he had made to her. As the man she had loved for more than thousand years dedicates his glory in her name, she recalls his words at the altar - with his hands in hers.
“Everything that I do on this earth - I wish to do with you. I want you to know you are the last dream of my soul and you were the very first as well. Every day until the very last I close my eyes to dream a forever with you.”
He raises the medal to his lips, kisses it reverently as if he would for a long cherished dream and raises it in the air - in a toast of victory and his eyes find hers.
And he watches her as if she was made from stars - like the boy she had fallen in love with - like the storm has weathered and he is home at last. Home - at last.