The Arcana: Fragments

XXVI: Stronger Than You Know

*Nadia and Nasrin Side Tale*

It felt odd being back home, especially now. The smells of the streets as the carriage rolled were familiar yet it felt wrong to smell them. How could she have done this?

She was drunk, so was he - the whole ordeal should have been called off in the morning. And yet when she woke on the satin duvet in her gaudy, cluttered room in the palace a letter from her mother the night after Lucios proposal lay neatly on her bedside tray. It instructed her to return home, after the wedding had taken place.

The anger that flamed within her that day.

Her instructions on her new life, her youth drunkenly signed away by her own hand.

Nadia wondered if she had what it took to be Countess and if the country would accept her as she was. Lucio was not favored by the people, she knew that much, and so it was up to her to be the symbol; the bright, the regal, the cherished.

Smells of papaya and rich melon wafted around her as the thicket of the jungle grew. Mother lived in seclusion, away from the noise. That's how she liked it, as did Nadia. Looking down at her dress a wave of shame clouded her emotions. All red - as was custom in Prakra when a wedded wife was no longer a virgin. The dress made her feel dirty, as if the phallic-like design and sensual symbols of embroiled roses of fabric didn't make her feel more 'soiled' than she already did.

"Mother," she greeted in the custom language of her home. Nasrin kissed her cheek softly, not speaking, rather looking her up and down. An indecipherable shine in her eyes as the red hue of Nadia's dress caught the red of her irises. "Come, somewhere private," her mother spoke in the broken manner of the common tongue in Vesuvia. Nadia tried to make small talk as her mother led her to the terrace up in the highest part of the home. "Already practicing your Vesuvian, mama?" she asked. Nasrin nodded deeply, glancing at the gold ring around her daughter's finger. "Yes, to learn..good."

"Where is papa?" Nadia noticed the quiet of the home as they ascended the levels. Her sisters were nowhere to be seen, not the elegant harp music that Nafizah played at all hours of the day, nor the clang of metals from Naharas fighting dances. The home was entirely empty save the handful of servants that greeted her at the entrance. "I sent papa out, told him to pay a visit to his horses up in the fields, he will be back for dinner," Nasrin replied.

The entryway to her mother's terrace welcomed the duo warmly, sunlight streamed through the honeysuckle vines and Bougainvillea leaves. Small bugs buzzed and chirped as the two women approached and sat down on the wide marble bench. For a moment, Nadia was a child again - being sat down by her mother in the same fashion as now, preparing to receive some new lesson on life or womanhood.

"I read in the reports from Vesuvia the wedding was nearly a week long?" Nasrin began.

"Six days, seven nights.."

"And the people?"

"Festive, happy."

"And him?"

Nadia thought for a moment on how best to represent her newly wedded husband. As a wife, she ought to be inclined to bring focus on all the good she experienced and saw from her husband. But when it came to her mother, Nadia could not lie to her. Bringing her elbows to her knees in a slouch, Nadia let out a silent sob.

"Oh mama...he's awful".

"Why is this so?"

"The people hate him; he failed the city during the plague..so many dead mama, there's an island a few miles off from the city that still have the ashes of all the dead. They despise him. His court is nothing but a room full of snakes, bejeweled and ravenous for the luxuries and finer side of life. And his servants he treats so poorly, the stories I've heard.."

"And what about you?" Nasrin asked, leaning closer to her daughter.

"Me?"

The scent of the honeysuckle flowers seemed to grow stronger as her Nasrin studied Nadia.

"How is he? Did he treat you..?" Nasrin could not finish her sentence.

"Oh...he was...surprisingly gentle".

"And have you...do you think he...?"

"I have bled already mama.."

"I see.."

Wiping her tears Nadia felt weighted down by the pressure of the conversation, even more so by the life she now must lead. Nasrin felt this weight, but rather that encouraged the sorrow her daughter now felt she knew now was the moment for her to take action and set Nadia on the right path.

"Look at me..", she began. Nadia obeyed.

"I must tell you some things that you now must be ready for. You are no longer a child, I cannot keep you from the world and the new life you now must take control of. You are now a Countess of a great city, and no one will ever tell you this, but so long as you are Countess you will always feel unequipped and unprepared for the duties you now see. This feeling will never leave you, but it is with this feeling you must continually strive to grow and be the Countess your people deserve. Vesuvia is not my home, it's people I do not understand, its traditions I am foreign to. You must be a stranger to Vesuvia no longer. Prakra can no longer be your home, Nadia Satrinava no longer exists - instead, she must serve the people she now leads. The person to lead them; Countess Nadia of Vesuvia. No matter what you are told, or what you believe, the Countess must win - must always win".

Taking her face into her hands, Nasrin kissed the sides of Nadia's cheeks.

"But what about my husband?"

"He is merely a facet and a symbol to the establishment you now represent. Your actions and principles must not be an extension of his; you are the female regent and you are guided by logic, diplomacy, and justice. This Count Lucio - as I am coming to understand - will fail to hold a candle to you in matters of both constitution and the love of people".

Nadia glanced down at her dress, its hue and design no longer bringing her shame. A newfound empowerment now seemed to take root somewhere deep inside her and this she now knew she must care and provide for with all her energy. Vesuvia was now hers, its people hers to protect and represent on their behalf.

Nasrin smiled, noticing the shift in Nadia's demeanor.

The two locked eyes, two queens whose lives now belonged to the betterment of their respective countries.

"Thank you mama", Nadia smiled. Queen Nasrin beamed back.

"You are stronger than you know."

[07.04.2020]