The Arcana: Fragments

X: Go Away

Julian x Reader (Alt. Reversed End.)

You and Scout had been traveling for some time now, your head throbbed as you tried to cling to the concept of it; was time even real here? There was little you fully understood anymore. It was him that kept you going, though, Julian. His name echoed off your lips and into the dreary wooded biome you found yourself in. Far off, the tree's roots groaned under the earth, calling out to him as well. If it was the last thing you ended up doing, you were determined to find him.

Part of you was frightened at what you would find, if you succeeded. Would he even be the same? What has become of him? Would he even remember you?

Scout sniffed the air abruptly, then pointed east. Following where she directed, Malak- who had been clinging to your cloak perched on your shoulder - took flight at her signal, speeding for the single lamppost that stood off in the distance. A sign was swinging slowly from an overhang on the lamp with the breeze that ran through the dead trees. The air smelled of ash, smoke, and despair. The black bird looked back at you and your companion, breaking the silence of the air with his cacophonous screech. Displaying his wings in full expansion, he signaled you both over.

The three of you both edged closer to the building that erupted itself from the roots and earth below your feet. The building's silhouette was barely illuminated by the red light the lamp gave off, it was hardly even visible. The walls were shrouded with gnarled branches and bark, you noticed the sign read 'The Hanged Raven'.

Breath catching in your throat, Malak flew back onto his place on your shoulder, Scout eased you closer to the door. You stepped inside. Instantly you caught sight of the sole individual in the room, a humanoid with ravens feet and arms covered in ink black feathers, with long fingernails of the same color. Patches of his body still shone skin, though clusters of feathers still covered the majority of his frame. Back facing you, his face remained unseen to you. Malak anxiously kneaded his feet into your shoulders, you didn't mind; the pain was the only thing keeping you aware and in the present.

You edged closer to the table he sat at, pushing aside the many hanging lanterns that drowned the room in the same toxic red hue as the lamppost outside. The figures space was littered with empty tankards of sour smelling liquid, the faint memory of salty bitters entered your mind. Cautiously, you reached out your hand, stopping your fingers at the fragment of remaining space that separated your touch from his feathered shoulder.

It was him, you knew so. His aura, though now faint, showed itself to you in the same red tone only one person in your entire life ever had. Julian's aura was always red.

"Another illusion, I see. A nice touch to include her smell..", the figure spoke, inhaling deeply. "A very nice touch".

Unable to restrain yourself, you lunged forward and threw your arms around him, tears escaping your eyes as your chest collided with his back. He remained unmoving, never turning to you or returning your touch. Instead, his black hands grasped the nearest cup in front of him hurriedly, chugging its contents down reverently. "Funny how real it feels, one might almost believe it to be so. But no, I know better now. Make it go away", he whispered into his empty cup solemnly, reaching for another.

"Julian..", you tried, "..it's me. I'm here".

"No!", he stood and in a flurry of feathers navigated to another seat further away. He still never looked to meet your now breaking face. "You're not going to win this round, I'm aware of what you're doing!", he looked up at the ceiling, his features now adapted to that of the raven creature that had overtaken him. His face was more gaunt, his eyes set deeper, his cheekbones and the bridge of his nose now turned sharper as black feathers cascaded down over their high points.

"You're trying to use her as my weakness!", he hissed, pointing a black fingernail up at one of the cracks that branched out from one of the hanging lamps, "y/n has never been my weakness...ever...", he slumped over again.

Your eyes stinger with tears, "Julian...", you didn't know what to say, "Look at me".

"You'll go away soon enough, I just need a little bit more..", he filled a random cup from the barrel that lay nearby and drank deeply. "Look at me", you begged. Malak cried out as well, desperate. Julian now began up a chant as you continued to beg, "You're not here. You're not here. You're not here", he went.

"Please look at me", you whimpered.

"Go away!", he slammed his fist on the table. "You. Are. Not. Real".

"I am!", you came forward and kneeled before him, grabbing the side of his face to make him see you. "I am the same y/n that smashed a bottle on your head when you broke into the shop for the first time, the same y/n that tripped into a barrel the first time we fully met, the same y/n that fell in love with you the moment your hand touched mine. It is me. I am real. I am here. For you".

For a moment, his eyes searched yours with a glimmer of hope, but as quickly as it came, it left. Leaning closer to lay a hand against your chest, his gaze felt as though he looked right through you, what he said next cut you deeply, "Get out, before I kill you". The hand that rested on your chest shoved you back roughly, long nails scraping your skin as you fell back. The heat of blood began rolling down where his nails had cut. "You are not her. You will never be her. You are nothing".

Crawling backwards frantically, he began walking towards you, a looming mass with murder in his eyes. Fear overtook you, you began crawling faster, trying to get away. Shoving the hanging lamps out of the way as he followed you, Malak took flight and attempted to scratch at him with his talons. Catching the animal almost instantly, he grabbed Malak's head between his thumb and index finger. The black bird's cry was cut short, the crack of its neck silencing him. You let out an unintentional yelp as he tossed the bird away.

"Julian stop this! Please".

"Julian is dead, as is y/n".

"My love, Julian, please-..", he swung at you with his hand and his nails were about to make contact with your face until suddenly Scout burst through the door and shot a white orb directly at him, throwing him back. Hissing in pain you used the split second of his distraction to escape, grabbing Malak's body into your hands as you fled. Now back outside,you stared back into the building. He looked at you now, his face stricken with realization.

"What have I done..", he whispered. Scout grabbed your wrist, beckoning you away. He looked at you and the red stain that was at your chest, he looked at Malak resting in your hands.

You tried to speak, but the words escaped you as you both stared at each other.

Tears filled both of your eyes.

Unable to face you any longer, Julian contorted his face in pain as he swung his arm out to turn away from you. His sob filled the air as the gust of wind his wing had made shut the door on your face. You didn't know which hurt more; his actions or the reasoning behind it all. You fell to your knees and let the tears fall. Scout took Malak from you and buried him beneath the lamppost that had originally brought you here.

The door to The Hanged Raven never did open again.

[06.22.2019]