I Miss You, I'm So Sorry 【ONESHOT】

2nd ver.

I fell in love the first moment I saw you. You passed by me during an event our university was holding. I thought it was impossible for me to meet you again, considering the amount of students in our school, even if it was reduced to only our faculty it was just a little chance for me to meet you.

But when you spoke on the stage during another event our school held, I immediately asked my blockmates if they knew you, luckily, I easily found someone who knew you and so I asked them for your name. I enjoyed the celebration, but the excitement I was feeling to get home was ridiculous. I went home hurriedly just to search you on Facebook to get to know you.

Fortunately, I found you; I hastily sent a friend request and waited. I didn't sleep early that night just to wait for you to go online. I wasn't even sure if you were going to log in. Quite absurd, right? But to my luck, you did as I hoped for.

We chatted, easily got to know each other and I didn't realize we have been chatting everyday for a week. In such short time we got this close already, I couldn't wait to meet you in person since it was SemBreak that time.

And then the break was over, we decided to meet each other in a certain fast-food chain. The way you walk, the way you talk, the way you laugh, the way you smile; the way you do everything. I fell hard for you.

For a girl who's average in appearance, you seriously got my complete attention.

We became the best of friends, who says a boy and a girl can't be? Well, that was a wrong move that time. I was already inlove with you and I didn't know what to do.

Time flew by, and we got closer to each other, some things changed though. I shifted to another course and well... You had a boyfriend.

I consulted my mom about by feelings towards you and she simply said, "Tell her now, before it's too late."

There was no backing out. And I followed my mom's advice and planned on telling you after three days.

The day I was going to confess to you came fast like a horse trotting. I went to your house and to my surprise, you were crying really hard. I immediately approached you and took you in for a tight hug before asking what was the reason you were crying.

You and your boyfriend broke up, I was happy yet sad at the same time. I didn't like seeing you like this, it made me feel a pang in my chest.

We stayed like that until you fell into deep slumber and your mother came home from work. I excused myself and went home.

After a few months, I courted you; and we became a couple. I was in a state of euphoria and I wished to stay like that forever, but forever doesn't exist, at least in our world.

We were the ideal couple, in other people's eyes. Fights every now and then, but the way we would look into each other's eyes, would fix everything and then we would kiss under the moonlight.

But I know that you are the ideal girl, and I am the jerk that wasted your time.

We became busier and had little time to meet up because of our schedules, but you never failed to text me sweet messages everyday. Messages that I read to this day, messages that were once full of your love that are now mere words that sent hurt and guilt to me. But hey, I deserved it.

You had an apartment near our school, I would sometimes spend my leisure time there, bring some of my friends and chat with them, but it came to a point where I brought others... Girls who I would fuck because of my impatience.

 So much for being the ideal couple...

One day, I brought another girl and just as I opened the door, I was greeted by lively decorations all around the room with you standing a few meters away from the door, wearing the blue dress that I gave you for your birthday and you absolutely looked stunning in it.

I was left speechless as you walked out the door, but I quickly came back to my senses when I realized all of my fucking shitty doings and immediately ran after you.

I quickly caught up to you but every time I called out your name, you would run faster and the distance between us grew larger. But, I didn't give up, you did.

You turned around and walked towards me, with a lifeless gaze.

And told me the words that hurt me, but you told me the words that I will cherish for a lifetime.

"I already knew what you were doing, but still I kept holding on. I loved you so much and we both know that, yet it's not enough for you to not cheat." you paused and took a deep breath, "I hoped, that even this day, just this one special day, you wouldn't commit those dirty acts."

Pain shot through my heart, but I kept listening. It's the least I could do in that moment.
 I couldn't speak. I couldn't explain, what's more to? You already knew.

 "Maybe we were destined to be with each other. But as best friends, and nothing more than that.", You took a step closer and pulled me in for a hug while you held my head,"...I love you, but..."

"I suppose you already had your happiness..." You stopped for a while and looked at me as you smiled while tears ran down your eyes.

"...Can I have mine now?"

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Today, how I wish I could see you in many more dresses that perfectly suit you. Or receive sweet messages every single day, but now, those messages that I read to this day, messages that were once full of your love are now mere words that sent hurt and guilt to me.

As I walked down the grey sidewalk, a familiar voice called my name.

I looked up to see who it was, it was my guy best friend.

And beside him was you.

You looked the same, still as beautiful as always.

The difference is that you two are already a couple, two years and going strong. And that we already have a child. You just used my best friend's surname as the kid's.