Contact Constrictions

The Witch At Work

Work,we all hate it. You may think you have the worst job ever. You would be wrong. I do. Now before you start listing all those terrible work conditions you're plagued with, like no coffee left, printer on low ink, unconfortable chairs in the conference room (blah,blah,blah), let me tell you about my problem. She, yes my dilemma is a person, is named Ms. Gothel. I believe her full title is Ms.Gothel: CEO,Former model,evil witch,millionare, and puppy hater. Okay, I might have added a few of those,but you get my point. "Terrible" doesn't even begin to describe this woman!

Every morning I report to the jail cell that is my vocation. I am employed by Turris Hair Products as a "visual example of the capibility of products". In other words, I model, because I have stunning hair. I'm not full of myself, it's true. This stuff on my head has won so many awards I had to build a case for them. Seriously, it's in my hallway! Anyway, whenever the old hag comes to check on the progress we're making, which is about four times a day, she examines the whole scene and then pounces on every tiny detail. Therefore, turning a one hour shoot into a four hour fiasco! Never am I good enough for her! One would think that a single hair could be photo-shopped out, but not her! It must be brushed, gelled, and sprayed with ten pounds of hairspray. Then,the wicked woman decides that it's not exactly the look she was going for and redesigns the whole thing! Not only that, but she is so harsh! Every tiny mistake is met by scolding. UGH! I think she's just jealous because she too closely resembles a hippopotomous to have pictures taken of her anymore.

At this point I bet you're wondering "why doesn't this chick just quit?". The answer to that question is one word that I've grown to despise; "contract". Young and ignorant me was so eager to start her career that she would (and did) sign pretty much anything. This boa constrictor of a paper states that I will be the face, or rather the head, of Turris until such time as they decide to release me. So I guess I'm stuck being called "Rapunzel" by my co-workers. Do you get it? I Work for Gothel. It's like the story. Hilarious, right? Yeah, I don't think so either. My real name is Lani, by the way. Come to think of it, I don't think anyone at work actually knows my name. I guess it's just one more of the joys of being me.

My only saving grace are my best friends Cassie and Lisa, whom I have known since highschool. Supportive should be their middle names. We get together almost everyday after work, which is easy since they live in the houses on either side of me. They are both designers. So, when I hatched the idea to transfer to NYC to pursue my modeling career they jumped right on the train. Success and a great job greeted us all almost as soon as we got here. It said goodbye to me after the first few weeks. They, however, still find pleasure in their jobs. Oh, how I have to work on the "Do not covet." commandment when it comes to them. If I didn't adore them so much I would pop them right in the nose for the sheer fact that their lives are so much better. Right, coveting again.