Mistreated | The Sequel | Donah Meavey

04

Jonah's pov

I woke up to the sound of my alarm. I looked around and of course I was alone like usually. Daniel at this time is always in the kitchen, at the terrace or out somewhere for a walk.

I know something's going on with him, but he won't tell me anything. He always says that he's fine and he smiles at me, but...I see his eyes..I see those looks...I already saw that..more than a year ago, but I remember it cause how could I forget something like that. The pain and suffering he was going through. But it makes no sense cause he was alright..he was happy..he was healthy again.

I guess my mom was right when she told me that I have to take care of him even if he's fine again and everything is okay, cause it can come back easily and can take him deeper than he ever was. One reminder..one memory is enough for it.

I just don't know what happened. What is the reason? And..is it that bad again? Or even worse? Or maybe I'm just overthinking and going in too deep for no reason?

But..I can't just ask him cause that would hurt him maybe even more if something's really going on. I'm so worried about him and feel so helpless.

My thoughts got interrupted by the door downstairs. Daniel is back.

I quickly got up and ran down the stairs. He turned around when he heard me running after him. When I reached him, I hugged him tightly. He hugged me back immediately.

"Woah, I guess someone missed me way too much." he said laughing.

"Where were you?" I asked quietly, almost just whispering.

"I went out for a walk to the lake. I use to go almost every day." he responded and we pulled away. I caressed his cheek and looked deep into his eyes. His eyes are different..and it hurts me.

"Why?" I questioned.

"What why? I go out cause it's beautiful outside." he said.

"No Daniel...why?" my voice was shaking a bit. He haven't answered. We were just staring into each other's eyes. "Daniel please tell me what's going on with you."

"Nothing..I'm good. Stop asking me this all the time." he said frustrated and walked upstairs. A single tear escaped from my eye.

Daniel's pov

I locked myself into the bathroom and leaned against the door. I slowly sink down onto the floor and put my arms around my head.

I'm a fucking asshole. What am I doing? Jonah didn't do anything wrong. All he wanted to know is what's going on with me..what's bothering me..what's wrong....everything is wrong..nothing is right. Why am I still alive? I should just give up and kill myself. My one and only relief. There's no other way out. I'm tired..both physically and mentally. But I can't do it..I can't hurt Jonah like that.

Fuck!!

I stood up and walked over to the sink. I opened the door under it and grabbed the razor behind the aid kit. I rolled up my sleeve on my left arm.
I made a cut for being this weak, a cut for Ben cause I let myself being destroyed by him and three cuts for Jonah cause I lie to him all the time, cause he deserves a better boyfriend than me and because I'm being an asshole to him...I hurt him for sure when I said him to stop asking me if I'm good and stuff..plus it wasn't in the nicest way.

Jonah's pov

I ate breakfast alone, then he came downstairs, but we haven't talked. On our way to work there was still silence between us. I honestly wanted to cry.

At work it wasn't that bad today. Just a few customers. The cafeteria was empty right now. I was just standing there and thinking what should I do, when Daniel appeared next to.

"I'm sorry." he said quietly. "I didn't mean to hurt you." he grabbed my upper arm and caressed it softly with his thumb. "Can you forgive me?"

I looked at him and smiled weakly.

"Of course I forgive you." I said and he smiled back at me. I pulled him closer and kissed him for a long time. "I love you."

"I love you too baby." he responded and kissed me again. When we pulled away I rested my forehead on his.

"I'm worried about you." I said almost just whispering.

"Don't worry....there's nothing to worry about. Everything is okay." he said. He seemed to be honest, but..I don't know. I just hugged him tightly and tried my best to hold my tears back.

Daniel's pov

I'm good at pretending, but Jonah can see through me when I have no energy to try harder. How would I have energy if I barely sleep at night. Like now. It's 4.22am and I haven't slept a single second. But I have to get up now cause Ben is about to call me in a few minutes again.

I sat up and looked at Jonah who was sleeping peacefully. A few tears rolled down on my cheeks. I leaned down and placed a kiss on his forehead. Then I left the room and went into the bathroom.

Just when I entered the bathroom, my phone started to ring. I haven't even locked the door this time cause I had to answer the call.