I never knew what being gay meant. I only knew that people used to call me gay all the time in Junior School. I was only 11, so I was very ignorant and just thought gay meant stupid or annoying. I've called the bullies gay way too often.
Aside from the bullies I did have friends. 1 of them was the funniest guy I'd met, he always knew how to make me laugh. Even though nobody was really there to cheer me up when I was actually sad.
Me and my friends all liked the same rock music. I especially liked the slow sad songs. Don't know why. Leave Out All The Rest by Linkin Park was my favourite, because of this beautiful lyric.
"But when my time comes
Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed"
I wasn't emo or anything, I just liked sad music. I always sang along because I love singing, and I liked to pretend I was actually any good at it.
I guess the music taste made me even more of an outsider. What also didn't help was that I didn't really like dodgeball, which the rest of my year always played during the lunch breaks. Me and my friends would usually sit on the monkey bars or play tag.
The monkey bars were the place where I was beat up once. 2 people started a fight with me because I disagreed with something one of them said. He just shouted at the other guy to grab me. I was helpless, I couldn't fight back. I just didn't like fighting, maybe that's why I was only really beat up once.
I never had a real relationship in Junior School. I had one "girlfriend" but we just went on loads of playdates and it didn't really mean anything to us to be boyfriend and girlfriend. We never kissed or even hugged.
There were loads of crushes though. I remember I once told a girl I had a crush on her over MySpace and used loads of those corny heart emoticons. She was trying to guess who I had a crush on at school the whole day. She also wrote the boys in my class down and asked if it was any of them. I laughed it off. I never really thought it would be possible to ever have a crush on a boy when you're a boy. I always thought the boys in my class were cute, I thought that was normal.
But then again, I never really knew what being gay meant.
_________________________________
(A/N)
So I don't know if these are too short, this is about 4 pages on mobile and 1 on the internet. If they're too short please tell me <3
YOU ARE READING
2 Years: A Larry Stylinson Story
Fanfiction"Openness may not completely disarm prejudice, but it’s a good place to start." Prejudice will never go away. Especially not for someone like Louis. Gay men or kids will always have labels. And while some people have it way worse than him, Louis s...
