the hurt ⇀ jadon sancho

01, the first day

the first day without him. i layed in my bed, crying, between all my pillows and blankets. i cried so much that my favourite pillow was completely wet. my heart ached like never before. it was even worse than the time my grandma died. but i didn't had the strength to stand up, not even to move. all i could do was lay here and think about his actions. about his hurting words. about yesterday. and everything in my room reminded me of him, but this was the only place i wanted to stay at. the only place i really felt alone and unnoticed. and that's what i wanted. i didn't wanted to be comforted by my mother, my father or anyone else, because they didn't know what it felt like inside of me.

i sat down onto my bed as i watched him. he looked at everything in my room. the pictures, the drawings, the little decorations. he smiled while he did that and jesus, his smile is the prettiest i've ever seen. "everythings pretty cute here" he said and i laughed. "everythings pretty small compared to your apartment" i responded and he chuckled. "you're right, but that doesn't mean that it's not cute" he said and i looked down on my fingers, because i felt that my cheeks started blushing. i felt the mattress going down next to me, signalizing that he sat down. he took my hand in his own and caused me to look at him. "you're so cute when your cheeks have that light red shade" he said and looked straight into my eyes. with a lovely look i glanced at him and snuggled into his chest, which was warm and cozy. "you're pretty tired, aren't you?" he asked me and i simply nodded. "it was a long day and we had to entertain my brother, which is really exhausting" i answered and i felt how he moved. "hey! it was so comfortable" i exclaimed and looked at him. "well, i don't want to sleep now, so i'll wake you up again" he said and before i could ask what he meant with this, he began to tickle me. i immediately laughed and couldn't stop. he continued tickling me and i tried to move under him. "pl- ease! i- i can- can't- bre- breath!" i screamed and he stopped, looking at me with a grin. "are you awake now again?" he asked and got off of me. "yeah, after your attack" i laughed and he also did. "come here" he said and opened his arms. i stood up and walked over to him, getting into his arms. he leaned down and i closed my eyes.

i could still feel his lips on mine, the lovely touches on my body, the warm hugs he gave. the memory made me cry even more, and that was just the beginning of the hurting.