Toxic 2: Lethal

Work

Chapter9-Work

"How's the baby?" Ava's dad asked, sitting in the booth across from Ava and I.

"I guess okay. I haven't been to the doctor since I found out."

"How are your parents taking it?"

I shrugged. "It's been okay. I mean, better than I ever expected."

"When Ava's mother and I found out we were having a baby, we were young. Not quite as young as you but still young enough. We didn't have anyone to support us. We'd get the occasional visit from Ava's mother's parents but it wasn't enough to help us raise her. Don't take advantage of your situation but don't take it for granted either."

"Believe me, dad, we're not." Ava said, squeezing my hand under the table.

"We're really excited for this baby. Nervous but excited." I said.

"Babies are a lot of work. I hope you know what you're getting yourselves into."

Ava shrugged. "We'll figure it out."

"I hope so." Her dad said. He excused himself then went back to work.

"We need to get jobs."

I raised my eyebrows at her. "What did you have in mind?"

"There's a woman who runs a daycare service that I could work for. It'd only be after school until the parents came to get their children but it's still something. And there's always here with my dad."

"Anything I could do would have to be desk work. I won't be able to lift heavy things soon."

She patted my knee. "We'll find something. If not, you can clean my room for me."

I moved her milkshake over beside mine. "Just for that, I get two milkshakes and you get none."

"No way. I'll make you pay for both of those if you do that."

I laughed and let her have it back. "I'd rather not."

She smiled. "That's what I thought."

"How was work?" Dad asked as I walked through the door.

"I don't know how this is going to work." I said, running a hand through my hair.

"How what is going to work?" Larry asked, muting the TV.

"I can barely work as it is now."

"It'll get easier, Lydia."

"Easier? How is it supposed to be easy when I have a baby?" I wasn't seeing the silver lining in this situation and I wasn't sure I ever would. I wanted this baby. Of course, I wanted this baby. But raising it seemed impossible. I didn't want to push him, or her, off on my dad and Larry or Ava's dad. It wasn't fair to them. I was the one that was irresponsible. I should be stepping up and taking care of the baby. Yet that wasn't easy when juggling school and work at the same time.

Dad walked over to me and grabbed my shoulders. "It won't be easy. But I know you and Ava will make it work."

"How? We have no idea what we're doing."

"That's part of the fun. You figure it out as you go."

I groaned. "You're not helping."

"You need to learn how to do this on your own. If you rely on us too much, you won't ever figure out what to do."

"I'm not ready for this."

"You're going to have to be."

I sighed and went to my room. I set my bag on the floor beside my bed and laid down. How was I going to do this? How were Ava and I going to take care of this baby when it was born? We could barely take care of ourselves.

My phone rang and I groaned before answering it. "Hello?"

"Sweetheart, are you alright?"

"I'm freaking out."

"What for?"

"I'm not fit to raise this baby."

"Lydia, why would you think that?"

"Because it's true. Ava and I have no money and it'll be hard for me to even work much. And we're still in high school."

"You don't have to have your life figured out right away, sweetheart. Even the most put-together people get scared when they have to take care of a baby. I know I was."

"I don't have a single clue what I'm supposed to do. You at least had a little bit of guidance."

"You think I'm just here for nothing? Lydia, all you have to do is ask. I'm not going to let you fail just because you're inexperienced."

"I wish you could be here, mom."

"You could always come stay with me."

"I'm afraid I'll go into old habits if I go back."

"I'm proud of you, Lydia."

I sighed. "I wish I didn't doubt that."

"Never doubt a mother's love."

My bedroom door opened and Ava walked inside, a stack of photos in her hand and her camera strapped around her neck. "I'll talk to you later, mom."

"Call me if you need anything."

"Okay."

"I love you."

"I love you, too." I hung up and watched Ava start taping pictures to my wall.

"Your mom?"

"Yeah."

"Your dad called and told me you were having a crisis." She said over her shoulder.

"So you thought you'd come redecorate?"

"It calms me down."

I sat up and looked at the baby picture. "What are you freaking out over?"

"Your dad said you were freaking out. Seeing you freak out freaks me out."

"Ava-"

"Lydia, why didn't you say anything to me?"

"It just sort of happened all at once. I think it's the hormones or something."

"Lydia, I'm being serious."

"Ava, all I'm being is serious."

"No, you're joking about the baby. Nothing is a joke when it concerns the baby."

"You should know that I'm as freaked out as I've ever."

She stared at me and I wasn't sure she believed me.

"I don't have to explain myself to you, Ava. If you can't see how freaking scared I am then what's the point of all this?"

Tears welled up in her eyes and she just watched me, not saying a word.

"I think I want to give the baby up for adoption."