I opened the doors of my apartment and slide into it as fast as I could. Sam walked me to the bus station as he promised. He gave me a goodbye hug which felt amazing and I was thinking about it all the way home. It was as warm as that little kiss in the cheek he gave me when he was leaving my apartment. I was already late for my classes, but I decided to go home before I catch the bus to the university, there was no way I was gonna show up on campus with a hair like this and unbrushed teeth. I felt like I was coming back from some Saturday party and all I wanted to do was to come back to bed, but the most scary part was that it was actually Tuesday and I've never been in such a mess on normal, working day. I felt ashamed for myself and very strange.
I finally brushed my teeth and hair, made a little bun and changed my clothes. I felt much better, but I was still tired and overwhelmed. It gotten worse when I looked at my phone and noticed seven missed call from Lydia. I was definitely avoiding her. I also received five messages.
Where are you?
You've never overslept before!
I was calling you yesterday
I'm waiting here for you
Hello? Are you there?
I just ignored her again, because what was I supposed to text her? That I slept at Sam's house, the bus was late and that now I was in my apartment because I couldn't even brush my teeth yesterday?. I hurriedly packed my notebook and went to the bus station. I thought at least I would go for these last couple hours at campus.
The bus was on time. Maybe at suburbs buses are late, fortunately, here, in the city it didn't happen often.
I went to the building and felt cold on my skin. I was nervously and hurriedly walking along the wide, light university corridors. I was so uncomfortable and outside the normal flow, that this day was driving me crazy. As a perfectionist, I've always been struggling with things that were unusual and complained about the people who were making them up. But now, I was the person I didn't like and I made myself everything so annoying and complicated.
Lydia is gonna kill me I thought when I touched the doorknob and went to the class.
"Can you finally explain me what is fucking happening here?!" Lydia yelled, she usually doesn't swear, but if she does it means she's in a very bad mood. We were standing in the living room in her apartment, she was totally quiet on campus for all day, didn't want to talk with me and just asked me after classes to go with her to her house. I was standing there looking at her, feeling guilty and also not knowing what to say.
"Umm, Lydia I'm sorry..." I said, but I knew it wouldn't help much and she would still want an explanation.
"You're sorry?! You're acting like you don't know me, you don't respond my text, calls, you lost your wallet on Saturday, then you decided to go home alone, totally drunk and since Monday you look like you're in totally different world!" She was gesturing, seemed worried and nervous at the same time. I was standing in silence looking at the floor in her living room.
"What? You're not even gonna say anything about this?" She asked. Her tone was still angry.
I raised my eyes at her body, but I didn't look her in the eyes.
"Umm... yes, you're right, I've been a bit unfocused lately... I'm sorry"
I responded."A bit unfocused?" She asked with an anger. Then she tried to calm herself down and sat on the couch.
"Tatum are you okay? You know you can tell me everything."
"Yes, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have ignored your calls, but I was already sleeping when you texted me yesterday and saw all your messages in the morning" I lied.