The Storm of Steel

Traitor

〰️ Eloisa Lannister 〰️

Standing in the gardens of the red keep, as I stare out at the sea. I find myself anxious and fearful of what is happening in High Garden. I know Jamie told me he was taking it back but at cost.

Feeling the cool moist air blow my honey hair across my face as the sun beams down, sending shivers of warmth through me. I find myself missing home and my siblings. I miss the open balconies with sheer red curtains decorated with gold lions as they blow in the summer wind. I even miss the summer storms blowing in from the western coast and the smell of fresh baked apple tarts with honey and baked apricots gummy sweets with whipped honey cream sauce. Just thinking about made my mouth water with delight.

Two months had pass by like a breeze and I was now three months along and my husband had left for high garden a week ago. The northern King and Queen had no idea that they was heading there because they was distracted by the attack on their eastern borders.

I had to admit my husband had excellent military tactics. By attacking the eastern borders they had no idea about the attack on the real target.

I was fearful of his turn because once they found out the truth the dragons would be there first defense they use, since they could fly there quickly. I find myself subconsciously rubbing my slight baby bump.

Speaking of my baby, Jamie thought it would be wise for us not to say anything about it just yet until he thinks Queen Cersei can handle the news. As I glance down at my starting to swell belly, I started to worry that Jamie should tell her sooner before she or her many spy's take notice to my fuller form. It wouldn't be good if she finds out with being told by Jamie first and only the new gods knows how she will react.

I had started to not wear my usual corsets anymore, instead wearing one that leaves my belly free but holds up my breast and ties up the back. Smiling lovely at my bump as my pink gown and pink and gold shawl drapes over it, hiding the curvy of it.

The babe that grows in my womb, has not only change my body but also my feelings towards Jaime. I use to feel hatred, disgust and jealousy towards him and Cersei. But for the pass two months, after finding out his going to be a father, his surprisedly been very attentive to my needs.

Whatever I want or desire he finds a way to give it to me. I still remembered the night before he left, he made arrangements for me to leave just incase if he doesn't come back. I cried of course and pleaded with him that his been ridiculous but he told me what happened the last time went against the wolves of the North. He was outsmarted and out numbered without even knowing it. So this time he wanted to be prepared just in case.

Sighing heavily, I continued to stare out at the sea and the setting sun as the sky turned yellow, orange, pink, then a dark blue hue. It was beautiful to watch even in this prison. I can still remember my mother whispers of encouragements before she lift on the carriage.

"Get with child as quickly as possible because Jamie will protect you regardless of his love for his sister. You must get pregnant before our plans are found out", My mother whispered in my ear as she hugged me

"Yes, mother. I'll do my duty", I said back hugging once more

I guess I had still managed to do my mother's bidding even though I tried not too. But as the child as grown so as my feeling for this man. The babe is slowly turning me into a traitor and I fear what I might do to protect my babe. This is crazy, how could a babe change you in such a short amount of time. Grunting with irriation at my thoughts, I got up form the stone bench and made me way back to the castle. Maybe she sleep will do me some good.

As I made me way back into the castle I heard screaming and shouting heard form the back chambers. Fearing creep into my belly at the thought of what horrors was happening in that chanber and by who's hand. Keeping my head down, I tried not to make eye contact with any of the guards that littered the walls as I made my way pass. Once inside my chambers I quickly closed my chambers door and leaned on the wooden door for strength, by the new gods I was a coward. I had actually turned an blinded eye to the some poor girl in need, what if that had been me but a little voice in my head to me, "that if I had helped or tried to intervene it would have been me screaming".

My hands subconsciously rub against my tiny bump, as I try to calm my nerves.  This place....this.....hell we call a palace as turned into a life sentences of misery and fear. Every corner you turn in this place takes a year off your life. It slowly drains your light and replaces it with something dark and cold.

As I caress my tiny bump, I sickening feel takes over that now I know how the rest of Westeros looks at this family. Like a plague eating away anything green and beautiful.

How can we go form Kings and Queens of great legends to petty thief's. And now I am going to bring another Lannister into this world, another loin to.....to....I don't know what but I'll be damn if my babe grows to be anything like them.

I'll whether kill my own babe, they let me be use or turned into a monster that takes pleasure in hurting others.