Titan Descending

Before

A/N: My first fanfiction! I spent my entire summer discovering anime and now I'm making a thing. Please ignore the other, unfinished things on my profile. I don't need the reminder that I'm terrible at finishing projects. So here you go.

Third Persons Pov

"Get up (F/N)! How're you going to beat the titans if you can't even do a hundred push-ups?!" Your older brother teasingly reprimanded you. It wasn't your fault the pushups were so hard, your small five year old body didn't have the efficacy to lift your entire weight yet. With each pushup, your small, scrawny arms wobbled and then you'd tumble down to your face, heartbroken but eager to try again.

"It's not my fault, Jey! I'm too heavy for myself! And stop being mean. When I asked you to help me train, I didn't say you could be mean!" You kicked your foot out towards him and he dodged.

"That's why you have to get stronger. How can you save others if you can't lift yourself. And I have to be mean, when you go to train with the actual cadets, the commander's there aren't going to think about your feelings and titans aren't going to think about your feelings either." He stuck his tongue out at you.

"That's so stupid. Everyone has feelings, why would anyone ignore them?" You stood up, grasping at your brothers hand. At ten years old, he seemed so much bigger than you, gargantuan even.

"Feelings get in the way of things, causes you to make bad decisions. That's what Ace said." Ace was your other older brother, your oldest brother, actually. He worked with the military police, specifically inside the castle. He was one of the closest people to the king and he knew all the ins and outs of being in the military.

"How, I don't get it. Feelings are always good, even the bad ones."

"You'll understand more when you're older, but let me help you get some insight now. Imagine you're fighting off a titan and someone running accidentally bumps into you. Maybe they don't say 'sorry', so you get sad, and your eyes start to water. If your eyes are watery, you won't be able to see the titan you're fighting. See how it's a problem now?" Jey crouched down to eye level with you.

"Oh, so does that mean I shouldn't cry when something hurts too, like if I accidentally run into a wall and bump my head, I shouldn't cry then either. But then, how do I stop crying. Pain hurts."

"That's why you work on your pain tolerance too."

"But how?" You twisted your head at him.

"Well, we don't want you to get to hurt in practicing, so let's keep things simple. When you're doing pushups and your arms get tired and start to hurt, you gotta keep going. Or when you're about to fall, instead of putting your arms up to catch yourself from falling, just let yourself fall.

"But then I would fall on my face and that would hurt...ohhh and then i would get used to the pain! Oh, Jey, you're a genius!" You smack both of your cheeks with your hands and revel in the sting.

"Alright, next, laps. Get to running, (f/n)." Your brother sends you off.

*******

That night, while most of your family sleeps, you shake your third oldest sister, Tala awake.

"Why, (f/n). Just why?" She's always been tetchy about her sleep.

"I can't sleep." You say. It's a stupid statement and the entire family knows it.

"You can never sleep. That's why mom and dad buy you a bunch of books, so that you can read throughout the night. So why are you here?" She practically growls at you.

"I wanna train some more. I know I've been training all day, but one of the books I was reading, said something about how that thing that you do with the arrows, achechty—"