She's silent

Chapter Four

Pea's POV

Luckily, english was much so better than science, no distractions, no awkward encounters, nobody paid me any attention and I didn't get called on by Mrs Banks. Just how I like to be, Invisible. I was hoping that Principle Tipton had actually spoken to the teaching staff to let them know of my condition, I couldn't imagine how mortifying it would be if they decided to try and get me to talk in front of the whole class.

It's not that I didn't want to talk to anybody, it was like this mental block stopping my vocal chords from making the sounds I wanted to produce. My brother had suggested counciling, he even threatened to drag me to see one if I didn't leave my room and eat. It had been dark times, I didn't have the strength to do anything because I couldn't stomach a thing and I didn't want my brother to see me like that and continue to blame himself. But once he started to threaten me with counciling I somehow was able to eat, not alot. But I did it for him and to keep him content.

Just as I was about to get swept away into the black hole that is my mind, the bell chimed, signalling the end of class. Ugh.. I hated the thought of lunchtime. The pressure to eat, not knowing where to sit, what if someone tried to talk to me and thought I was rude?

I decided I would head to the lunch hall, and at least try something. I was going to pack my own lunch but forgot to prepare it the night before. I still couldn't eat alot, but I was trying my best for my brother, I was all he had after all.
Opting for a bottle of water, an apple and a cheese sandwich I headed to a lone table near a broken vending machine. I managed to eat alone, but once I had eaten half the sandwhich and few bits of the apple, I decided the lunch hall was to loud and crowded for me.

I wandered around the school, trying to memorize the hallways so I wouldn't get lost and also so I knew the best shortcuts to each classroom. I eventually managed to find the music room, I wouldn't lie and say I wasn't tempted to run over and pour myself into the giant black grand piano placed in the centre of the room but there were other pupils around, some practicing their violins or brass instruments.

One girl caught my eye, she had short curly black hair, dark eyes and thick eyebrows, freckles littered her nose and cheeks and she was singing some passionate serprono love song and seemed really imersed in the words she was belting out. She was good, but she knew that. She oozed confidence and coolness. Once she had come to the climax and ended the song, she stood tall and bathed in the applause from the small entoroge that had gathered around to watch her.

"Vi! You just have to get the lead in the school musical this year!" "You're so good!" "I bet you get the scholoship this year!" Some girls fawned. She clearly loved the attention and the praise. She then caught me staring, and after a heartbeat of silence between us, she began to saunter over towards me. Sh*t, she'd obviously noticed how I didn't join in the appraisal.

"What did you think?" She smirked. Oh no! this is what I had been frightened off.

She placed her hands on her hips and raised her groomed thick eyebrow in question. Clearly noticing my awkwardness, some poor girl came to the rescue.

"She's clearly mesmerized by your performance and has no words to describe what she thinks?" She offered. I smiled and nodded, trying to convey that I agree.

I made a mental note to try even harder to become invisible and blend better. She clearly wasn't convinced and this was just embarrassing. I decided to make a beeline in that moment and leave before she could quiz me further.

The rest of the day continued in a blurry haze, each class morphing into one, forgettable faces and boring textbooks to read through. As I sat through my last class of the day, all I could think about was the grand piano in the music room. My fingers itched to play, it had been so long, but there is no way I'd have forgotten how to play, as to me it was like riding my bike. However music was my life, it always had been, when I went through all that grief and low moments it was always there for me, but playing the piano was almost like speaking, it expressed my inner termoil. And I didn't want anyone to hear that.

As the final bell rang through the classroom, I packed up my textbooks and notepad and threw them into my bag. For some strange reason I found myself wondering back to the music room, surely everyone will be heading home? Couldn't hurt to try.

As I expected nobody was around. It was safe. I made my way in and quickly sat myself down on the stool, I hesitated for a few minutes, lightly tracing my fingers over the keys, imagining the tune inside my head before I knew it my fingers delicately began to play, my shoulders relaxed and I became lost in the melody. Forgetting for a moment the world around me.