~2 years ago~
Jimin P.O.V
She looked beautiful, She was beautiful. I wish I could turn back time and replace myself with her but I can't. My highschool sweetheart, my first love is gone.
I walked inside the funeral home my heart beating out of my chest the guilt finally creeping it's way into my soul I couldnt help but think it's my fault. Once I walked in I saw pictures of her smiling, laughing, crying. I smiled, my eyes tearing up but I quickly wiped them away. I didnt deserve to cry, for it's my fault that shes gone. I walked over to her open casket she looked gorgeous.
"you look beautiful" I whispered
It looked like she was sleeping. She was dressed in a purple delicate dress that was off the shoulder and had purple flowers decorating the top. She didnt have any makeup on which made me smile because she always looked more beautiful without it. I felt the tears come to my eyes. But this time I let them fall. I couldnt hold it in anymore the memories of me being with her of us together flooded my mind. That was when reality actually hit me she was gone. She was actually gone, the only person I saw a future with has left me.
'How can I love again' I thought to myself.
~flashback~
"Jimin let's go this way" she smiled to me obviously excited.
"But theres a shortcut over here" I pointed at the opposite direction and grabbed her hand.
It was a secluded road that not many people drive or walked through. I always walked through it but never at night. I felt her hands tremble she was obviously scared. I reassured her time and time again that's we would be fine.
As we were walking I felt like someone was watching us. I looked back and around us but it was too dark and I couldnt see anything. I turned on the flashlight on my phone but nothing.
"Is everything okay" she asked, I nodded not wanting her to get even more scared.
We continued on walking I pushed the thought of someone following us in the back of my mind. We were so close to my house. But I heard someone following us I started to walk fast afraid. I heard the footsteps get quicker too.
"Run!" I yelled
I grabbed her hand and started running to my house it was right in front us when suddenly.
'Bam Bam Bam'
I fell to the ground I didnt know what happened my whole entire left arm was hurting and I felt a warm liquid ooze out of it. I saw her body next to me I quickly got up and picked her up she was already unconscious I felt her blood on my hands I kept on shaking her trying to wake her up.I remeber calling out her name but no response. My eyes couldnt stay open anymore as i closed them and everything turned black.
~end of flashback~
When I regained my consciousness I was at the hospital. I asked what happened and they told me that I got shot in the arm. When I asked for my girlfriend they kept quiet. Until they told me that she didnt make it. She was shot twice one bullet in the back and another on her leg. I kept on crying and crying not being able to speak I cursed myself in my head.
Once i was discharged from the hospital i spent almost all day in my room i barely went out and i barely ate.
I walked away not being able to stay there for another minute. As I walked back to my car I felt empty inside. My chest tightened and all could feel was the feeling of emptiness and numbness invade my body. And that's when I lost it all.
~present time~
Its been two years, two years without her. After she died I was and still am a mess. I started to skip school almost everyday. I would act like I was going to school but secretly climb up my window. Once I heard my parents leave for work. I would go downstairs to the living room and drink from my dads liquor cabinet. I would get drunk or high almost everyday. I didnt know how to cope and I still dont. I barely graduated highschool. I managed to get into a good college. But I still couldnt forget about her.
I quickly became an alcoholic every night I would go to a bar or just buy a pack of beer on my way home. I lost almost all my friends and I moved out of my parents place after I graduated. I had no one but myself.
I walk into the bar I always go too. I always sit in the same spot. There was a table in the dark corner of the bar. I liked it there it was quiet and no one paid attention to me.Everyone that worked there knows me already as I am one of their frequent customers.
"Hey there Jimin you havent been here in a while. How you been?" asked Mi-Na
"I've been the same Mi-Na." I answer her question
She hands me and drink
"Then drink away my friend" she simply said and walked away.
Mi-Na went to the same highschool as me. She knows everything that happened. I guess you can say that we are friends. But I always come to this bar becuase she always takes me home when I get really drunk.
I was on my my second drink already when a person walked in. They ordered two drinks and went to sit at a table in the middle of the bar. She looked at me and I half smiled at her. I then proceeded to take another sip of my drink when her friend walked in.
"Hey Ha-Eun over here!" She hollered at the girl that walked in.
When I look over at her my mind goes blank. She looks exactly like her. I abruptly got up.
"Ha-Rin?" I yelled across the bar
Everyone looked at me but I didnt really care.
"Ha-rin is that you?" I walked over to them not believing my eyes.
"I'm sorry I don't know what you're talking about I'm Ha-Eun."She looked at me confused and scared.
"But you look exactly like Ha-Rin. You're Ha-Rin you have to be her.Dont you remeber me I'm Jimin your boyfriend."
"I'm sorry but I think you have the wrong person."
"But-"
Mi-Na went ove and grabbed my hand. She took me outside.
"Ya! Jimin what the hell are you doing? That's not Ha-Rin. Ha-Rin is dead remeber?" she yelled at me
Tears started to form in my eyes
"But she looks exactly like her. It has to be her." I said in a convincing tone. She sighed.
"Jimin I think you should go home and rest."
I left the bar. As I left I felt something weird. It was almost like sadness? it was the first time I felt some type of feeling other than numb. I went home but got a pack of beer on my way home. I got drunk that night. Like I always did, but this night was different. It felt like I was drinking to forget her, not to forget my pain.
