September's Journal, 2001

The Next Week

18th- People keep saying that September 11th was the first time since Pearl Harbor that the U.S. has been attacked directly. Except at Pearl Harbor the target was military, not civilian. That makes it much worse, of course. I asked Mom about Pearl Harbor but she was just a little girl then. Mostly she remembers that Uncle Rob was wounded at Pearl Harbor and his sister, my Aunt Edith, joined the W.A.C. (The Women's Army Corps) right after that.

The other way it's like Pearl Harbor is that everyone is rallying together. Suddenly New Yorkers are supporting each other and putting aside their differences to help each other, either in the clean-up efforts or to lend emotional support to all the people who lost loved ones or don't even know for sure if they're alive or not. Seeing all those missing posters is just heartbreaking. People always say how rude New Yorkers are, but I've always found them to be kind and friendly on weekends and holidays. It shouldn't take a tragedy to bring out the best in people on weekdays though.

It really is a beautiful thing how everyone is just American right now (except the haters). A lot of people have gotten American Flag decals for their cars and they've already started selling them everywhere. I told Mom I was going to get one for my car. She says it would be safer. That really isn't my point, but I guess she's right. Still, I think driving while wearing a hijab offsets that.

19th- Neither one of us wanted to leave the house this morning, but had no choice. Ishaq was frustrated because he had a test this morning on Surah Al-Inshirah (Comfort) and forgot to study for it last night. Since I know it, we practiced in the car on the way to school.

After I dropped him off, I stopped for coffee. A man in the parking lot shouted at me to go back to my own country. I really wanted to shout back "This is my own country. I was born here," but thought I better stay quiet. This happens every once in a while anyway, but they've never sounded so enraged before. It kinda shook me.

During the day I thought about the words of the surah and their promise.

Fa inna ma'al usri yusra. But surely, after hardship comes ease.

Inna ma'al usri yusra. Surely, after hardship comes ease.

I know it is true. No problem or trouble lasts forever; there is a special calm that comes after difficulties. I'm just wondering how long before we get to that blessed point and things become a little more normal. God willing it will be soon.

I bought a flag decal and put it on the back window this evening. Ishaq passed his test. 

20th- This evening George "W' Bush gave an amazing speech, much better than I believed him capable of, and more sensible than I expected. He addressed the upsurge in hate crimes indirectly by saying that no one should be singled out because of their ethnic background or religion.

He said, "The enemy of America is not our many Muslim friends; it is not our many Arab friends."

He described Islam as peaceful and good.

He stated strongly that Al-Qaeda is an extremist group that acts contrary to the teachings of Islam.

The only thing that worries me is the link he made between Al-Qaeda and the Taliban. The Taliban were considered "Freedom Fighters" back when they were fighting the Russians. Now they're terrorists? Have they changed? Or has our official attitude to them changed? They may be harboring Bin Laden. I don't know, but it's not much of a stretch. I do know that their practice of Islam is really messed up, even for the basics.

I just hope that they have the good sense to give him up, if they are harboring him. Otherwise, I'm afraid we'll invade and a lot of innocent people will be killed. Afghanis have suffered so much already, between the Russians, the warlords, & their other crazy leaders.

Bush ended by saying, "I ask you to live your lives and hug your children."

I made sure to give Ishaq an extra hug before putting him to sleep. 

21st- Laila called very upset because her brother changed his plans and won't be coming to visit next month. Everyone back home is afraid because of the hate crimes they've heard about and advised him against it. They had also heard that a teenage girl had a gun pulled on her at a U.S. airport and was forced to take off her hijab. I heard the same thing, but I wasn't able to confirm it. I believe it could happen and that's frightening enough.

I don't blame them, especially Laila's new sister-in-law since she's never traveled outside the country before. Naturally she and her parents are afraid for her safety, but Laila is heartbroken. 

I didn't know what to say. I tried to make her feel better by saying that they'll be able to come soon, once things calm down. I hope it's true.

We made plans to go out for lunch tomorrow. I hope she will be able to take her mind off of this, at least for a while.

I remind myself how much worse it is for the people who have lost someone, but tonight that just isn't helping. At least her brother & sister-in-law are safe where they are. Imagine - being safer in a third-world country than in the United States of America!

22nd- We went to a nice pizza place, not the one on Route 1. Afterwards, we took the kids to a children's game place, mostly so they could let off steam and we could talk. Not only is her brother not coming, but her parents want her to move back to Jersey. They think it's safer there since the community is not as spread out. They want her to take a job as a secretary at her uncle's business until she can get a job nearby in her field. She is comfortable here and likes her job. She likes being independent and doesn't want them to push her into marrying again. Besides, Ali grew up here, and she still has a good relationship with his other grandparents, her ex-in-laws. I see no reason for her to move unless she decides she wants to.

I hope I can help her get through this time. It's hard for me to relate to this sort of old-world family problem, since my family is American and it's always been expected that I be independent as an adult. I'm not sure if her family views her as a child, or if they're just overly protective. 

Ishaq and Ali had a good time since they never get that much time together in school. The teachers seem especially stressed and some are a bit snappy recently. I'm sure they all have problems that we don't know about. 

23rd- Today was the first day of Weekend School classes, even though many families are still afraid to show up at the mosque. We've gotten a couple of threats and word of this kind of thing spreads quickly.

Anyway, there were about six children in my level two religion class. They know the basics but not much else. Parents are always grateful that someone is taking the time to teach our faith to their children. To me, it's the least I can do for the community. 

Also Ishaq can learn some Arabic from his classes. I want him to be fluent in Arabic, not like me. I only know enough Arabic for prayers, greetings, and a few expressions of faith. His teacher for Arabic this year is an older American sister who studied Arabic years ago. Mariam is the only person I know right now who understands Classical Arabic and is fluent in English. She wanted to start a class for us sisters one night a week, but several of the brothers are afraid to have their wives alone in the mosque at night. I suggested she wait a month or so before proposing it again or to also propose that the imam give a class on the same night. It didn't use to be that much of an issue, but I agree that the mosque is no longer the safest place to meet. 

24th- Back to school and work. After dropping Ishaq, I decided not to go to my usual place to pick up coffee, just to make sure I avoid the angry screaming guy. I went to the gas station next to work instead. The coffee is just as cheap, and the owner is Arab Christian and especially respectful so I don't anticipate he will let anyone scream at me. Besides I can get flavored coffee. These days I need flavored coffee.

Author's note: The above photo is by Keith Tyler.