Dead Inside // 2020

4.

𝙰𝚗𝚐𝚎𝚕

I woke up early as hell and hopped in the shower and I threw on a crew neck and some shorts and my crocs and I grabbed my bag with my laptop and homework and I jogged downstairs and filled my to go cup with water and I drank some.

"Morning"

"Morning"

My sister was up and she was in her scrubs about to head off to work. She was a pharmacy technician. We woke up some days at the same time and lefts at the same time. My schedule was the same but hers was different. I had a 9am class. I noticed it was 7:45 and I rushed out the door. It's be hella traffic in LA and I have to go all the way to UCLA. It would've been easier to dorm but I couldn't afford it so I just decided to live with my sister while I saved money for an apartment but it's so expensive to live in LA because everybody always wanna move here whenever they get a little bit of money so now it's crowded and overpriced.

My phone was playing my Apple Music on shuffle and I nodded my head to some Pierre Bourne when the song went off 'How You Feel?' Came on and Ski's voice blared through my speakers and it felt kinda awkward so once I got to a red light I changed the song to Forrest Gump by Frank Ocean because that was the vibe this morning.

*

When I got to school I took 15 mins to park and it was 8:45. And my class was nearby so I stopped at Starbucks which surprisingly the line was long but moving fast. I got a coffee and I walked to my class. I didn't have time to drink it before class but luckily this teacher lets us have drinks since he understands that it's early as fuck and some people need to be caffeinated to learn this early.

I'm a psychology major so my schedule is packed with psych, sociology, and anthropology classes. It's cool when I learn something and I apply it to real life, I learn to not get very angry with people because I think deeper than 'oh that person is a jerk'.

My teacher began to talk about mental health because this Psych class was around cognitive behavior. And I got a little uncomfortable when he spoke on depression.

"Sometimes people who are depressed don't even know it. They might take to drastic measures and still would be in denial that they need help and no one can be helped unless they want to because they have to accept what the problem is in order to find it.." he spoke and I nodded as I typed notes into my laptop and my phone began vibrating and I turned to look at it and it was a New York number I didn't recognize but looked familiar.

*

Later when I got out of class and I was waiting for my next one to start I looked in my phone history and saw the number that called earlier was the same as the one with that lady I spoke to yesterday. I contemplated blocking the number and my thumb hovered over the block button but then it began calling again. I bit my lip and sighed and answered it.

"Hello"

"Hi, is this Ms. Angel Grant?"

"This is she, may I ask who's calling?"

"I am a publicist and my name is Nina Dobrev and we spoke briefly yesterday. I sincerely apologize for my forwardness, these last few days have been a little hectic"

"I'm sorry to hear that but what to you want with me?"

"I work for Mr. Ski Mask The Slump God and sources tell me you were the one with him the night he was intoxicated-"