A Good Man - An SVU fic

Secrets Revealed

Ever since their last sonogram, Brian noticed that something about Olivia was off. She'd often completely zone out for long moments and whenever he'd ask her about it, she'd just shrug it off and say it was nothing. He knew better but he also knew not to push. As long as she knew that he'd be there to listen, she'd tell him when she was ready, if there were in fact, something to tell. He waited, but, nothing. The weeks went by, it continued, but she never brought it up.

Early one afternoon, he decided to stop in at the 1-6 to check on her, he entered the squad room and was greeted by Nick.

"Hey, Cassidy, what are you doing here in the middle of the day?"

"Just came to check on Liv, she around?"

"Sleeping. She looked tired so Captain sent her to the cribs to rest."

"I won't wake her then." He paused for a moment. "hey, Amaro, you're around Liv most of the day... you notice anything strange lately?"

"you mean those sad, far-off looks? Yeah. I've noticed. She okay?"

"That's what I'm trying to find out. She say anything?"

"Yeah. That it's nothing and she's fine." Brian smirked.

"Typical Liv. I'm gonna go say hi to Cragen before I go. Have her call me when she wakes up?"

"yeah."

"Thanks man." He said before heading into Cragen's office.

...

Late that night, he'd picked her up from work and it happened again on the way home. she just sat there in the car, staring off into space like she was lost somewhere in her own head.

"Liv?" It was like she wasn't there. "Olivia!"

"what?" she answered, suddenly snapping out of it.

"what's goin on with you?"

"Bri, I already told you..."

"it's nothing. Yeah, I know. Except we both know that it's not."

"You worry too much!" she said and turned to stare out the window, which he knew was her way of ending the conversation. You need to tell him! She heard a voice say in her head. It'll only hurt him. She argued back as she continued to stare blankly out the window.

***

SPRING

By the time April rolled around, at 5 and ½ months, the cute little bump was now a full-blown belly and Olivia loved it! She was astounded at how her body changed as the baby continued growing inside her. What she didn't love, however, was the heartburn that she'd been having lately. Her doctor assured her that this was a normal occurrence in pregnancy and recommended antacids... she was pretty much living on TUMS these days!

Her little episodes continued but she had gotten really good at pushing the thoughts out of her mind but the guilt was eating away at her. Still, she coped with it, deciding that she might as well deal since she couldn't go back and change what she'd done. And she tried her best to go along as if nothing happened.

"It's downright sickening how happy you are!" Amanda told her as they sat getting pedicures. They both had the day off and since Brian was working, She and Rollins decided to have a girl's day out.

"Um... thanks?" Amanda laughed.

"No, I just mean... it's frustrating... not you, it's... can you keep a secret?"

"Can Olivia Benson keep a secret? Hmmm..." Olivia joked.

"There's a guy."

"This guy have a name?" she asked before popping a few TUMS in her mouth.