Touch Starved

8

Levi woke up to darkness. Which was per usual; he always woke up before the sun did. This time, though, it was silent. (Y/N) wasn't crying as she usually did. He doubted she would.

Because immediately after she gave her answer and curfew had fallen, they had exited to the empty hallways, sneaking to Erwin's office to tell him the news.

She had agreed to go on the excursion. That meant she had to train. And that meant they needed a plan on how to train her. So they stayed well into the night as he and Erwin debated on teaching methods. She had to stay, and every now-and-again, the two would try to ask for her opinion. She did her best to give it.

Obviously, Levi said he would teach her how to use the gear. But the words to use, to convey what was happening and why she should do it and why it was important? Difficult. But they would manage. They had to, or else they'd have no choice but to leave her back at base. It would undermine her choice, but like Erwin said: her safety was priority.

He sat up from where he lay, the blankets pooling around his waist. He scratched at his stomach and slipped out of bed. Meandering, he headed towards the bathroom.

He halted when he got to the door. He swore he heard something, but usually if (Y/N) went somewhere, she left the door open. Her bedroom door was closed.

But he heard it again. A hiccup came from inside the bathroom. A sniffle.

He knocked. Silence.

"(Y/N)?" Levi called out. He heard a thump and then the door creaked open.

He knew she would wake up crying, but this seemed to be beyond that. Her eyes were struggling to focus, as if her mind was having trouble staying grounded. Her eyes were red and puffy, signifying that she had indeed cried, and she seemed utterly terrified.

"Hello." She croaked. She winced at her own voice and Levi sighed.

"Hello." He stared down at. She avoided his gaze.

"I... excuse me." She tried to step around Levi, him halfway obliging. He caught sight of her arm. He snagged it and she froze.

"What happened?" His asked sternly. He brought her arm up and inspected it. It was rubbed raw, as if she scratched it until it was bleeding. And bleeding it was.

She started rambling, Levi not catching a single word as it was her language. Her eyes started watering again, realizing he was staring at her confused. She shook her head. Then started again.

"Titans at forest. Tree. Not good." She said something else, and made a scratching motion with her arms.

She looked at him and something inside him seemed to snap to it. She looked like a child that nervously stood in their guardian's doorway to tell them that they had a nightmare. Tears danced in her eyes and her lip quivered. He didn't want her to ever leave his sight in this moment.

"Scared."

It took him a moment to register she had said anything. But then it hit him, almost like a bag of bricks. And he did something he had never received once for all the times he was scared.

He hugged her.

She didn't even question it. She hugged back. Her hands were warm on his back, but the cheek that touched his was cold from dried tears.

She finally let out a loud sob. Her mental breakdown finally happening, she couldn't avoid it anymore.

-

Levi sat with Erwin and Hanji at the usual table at the front of the caf. Not the back in a suspicious solitude. His squad sat in the surrounding seats along with some of Hanji's own. Levi spared a glance over at Erwin, who greeted it and gave a nod.