The Subject of My Affection

Pt II - Selfish. (Hiryur's POV)

First period passed, and then second period.

Then third, then fourth.

*Throughout those different periods, whenever Kaida would try to speak to me about the whole "sleeping in class" thing, I'd ignore her.

(Japanese students don't change classrooms; teachers do. That's unless they have any specialized courses. That's why he and Kaida have been in the same classroom all this time.)

Now, it was time for lunch.

I couldn't ignore her anymore.

She slid her desk to mine once lunch began, and swiftly pulled out her bento box.

She looked over at me and examined the surface of my desk.

"You didn't bring lunch again?"

"No. I haven't had much of an appetite..." I said softly, scratching the back of my head.

"Are you sick or something?"

I scoffed.

"Of course not," I answered, laying my head down and facing towards her.

"You say of course not as if you've been acting normal. But you haven't. You seem all gloomy, you don't eat anymore, you're exhausted, and you look like death. I mean, what happened to my cute, happy little Hiryur? What happened to that guy?"

I sighed, but didn't say anything.

She just glared at me for a moment, then shook her head and looked back at her bento box.

"Whatever's going on, I hope you stop being so uncommunicative and just talk to me about it.
Or Hotaru-kun. Or Aki-chan. Or *ototo. Any of us. 'Cause I'm worried. But I'm hungry right now, and I really want to eat. So I won't bother you about it anymore for now. But I'm not gonna give up," she declared.

("Ototo" refers to Kaida's brother, Toni, who is a friend of Hiryur's. Although ototo means "little brother", he's only younger by a few minutes due to the fact that they're fraternal twins.)

She then opened up her bento box and started eating.

I just closed my eyes and tried to fall asleep until lunch was over.

I honestly felt selfish for keeping to myself all for the sake of keeping my feelings for Hotaru a secret and preserving my dignity.

I just didn't want to face the mortification and shame of being jealous of someone who's supposed to be a friend of mine all because she's dating the one I love.

I was supposed to be her friend.

I was supposed to be his friend.

I was supposed to support them both and be happy for them.

But I couldn't be.

I couldn't be that supportive friend I was supposed to be.

Instead, I'm bitter and melancholy.

And my mood is starting to affect the people around me.

So yeah, I felt guilt-stricken.

But what can I even do?

All of a sudden, I felt my phone vibrate in my back pocket.

My eyes slowly opened, and I reached in my back pocket and retrieved my phone without lifting my head up.

I brought the phone into view, and there was a text notification on the lock screen.

It was from Hotaru.

"Hey, will you meet me on the school roof if you're able?
I really want to see you! ❤️"

I sat myself up, my eyes widened.

He wants me to meet him...?

But why?

He's been eating with Hisa everyday since they started dating...

Kaida looked over at me, her mouth full of food.

"Iz shumphing whong? (Is something wrong?)"

"Hotaru-senpai just texted me. He wants me to meet him. I gotta go. I'll be back soon..."

"Omph kah! (Okay!)"