ɴᴄᴛ ᴏɴᴇ sʜᴏᴛs/ ᴘʀᴏᴍᴘᴛs | ʀᴀɴᴅᴏᴍ sʜɪᴘs

ʙʏᴇ ᴍʏ ғɪʀsᴛ...

mark

where Mark thinks about how
much he loved Jungwoo

Jungwoo. The only person Mark ever had on his mind. Whenever he would wake up, Jungwoo. Whenever he would eat food, Jungwoo. Whenever he would think about love, Jungwoo. It was strange, seeing how a simple boy could take over Mark's heart like that. The way Jungwoo would smile at Mark, tell him he's cute, pinch his cheeks, and then hold his hand.

Mark was in love.

Mark used to lay on his bed, thinking back to when he first confessed to Jungwoo.

His hair was a mess from all the running he did, cheeks flushed, eyes heavy due to exhaustion. Jungwoo looked down at him with concern, but more confusion, filled in his eyes. Before Jungwoo could ask what had happened, Mark yelled out his love for Jungwoo. He told him about how his heart did flips every time he saw him, and how he couldn't stop thinking about him. Mark imagined a different reaction from Jungwoo. Maybe something more movie like, since they were still in their youth, and Mark had been watching too many kdramas recently. But Jungwoo responded with something else.

"Prove it to me." He said softly, a little embarrassed by the confession his best friend had made. Jungwoo was always shy. More shy than confident. Mark didn't know what else to say, so he blurted out something cliche along the lines of, "I'd risk my life for you!"

The way Jungwoo's eyes widened and he immediately shook his head, grabbing Mark's hand to tell him not to, made Mark's heart fasten again. Instead of getting an answer, Jungwoo requested for some time. Time to think through the confession, and sort out his already messed up feelings. Mark, being Mark instantly agreed and told Jungwoo he could take as much time as he wanted.

Mark had always spent his summers with Jungwoo. He would be stuck to his side, going wherever the older boy went. And Jungwoo never minded. In fact, he used to drag Mark along to whatever friends gathering he was having, which resulted in Mark becoming friends with many older boys.

He believed that if he was by Jungwoo's side, then everything would work out. It always did. Mark would bring Jungwoo to ever important occasion, claiming the fact that the older boy was his lucky charm, and main source of motivation. Somehow, by forcing Jungwoo to tag along with him, Mark did manage to successfully get through every challenge. The one time Mark got bad grades, he asked Jungwoo to be there whilst he told his parents about it, and they went soft on him. Then when Mark had to come out to his parents, he held Jungwoo's hand with his own shaky and sweaty hand, asking if Jungwoo could be there when he confronted them.

Every time Jungwoo was there, Mark's luck was above the roof.

But of course, they grew up. The time they spent giggling in Mark's bedroom, watching movies they knew they were too young to watch, whilst poking at each other, it had all become distant memories.

When they used to hold hands, ignoring the way the other was a little nervous, which was shown by the way they sweat and how shaky they were, Jungwoo promised to never let go of Mark's hand. And Mark believed him blindly.

But of course he did. He slipped his hand out of Mark's and pressed his lips against Mark's foreheads muttering his bye. Mark only smiled at him and waved, turning to leave, so that Jungwoo wouldn't see the tears welled up in his eyes (Jungwoo did see them, yet chose not to say anything about it).

Around the time Mark turned 19, Jungwoo went off to college, and that's when Mark finally thought he had fallen too deep into his stupid, and extremely foolish first love. As much as he wanted it to be his first and last, like how they showed in books, it wasn't. His heart ached at the thought that Jungwoo had left him. He felt as if he had fallen so badly that he couldn't get back up. He couldn't find a light.

However, as Mark grew up, his heart changed. When he finally turned 20, he moved out of his parents' house, reunited with old friends at university, he caught a glimpse of Jungwoo...holding hands with someone else. Oh how much 17 year old Mark would've cried, muttering out about how Jungwoo had promised that he was the only one in his world, and that he would trust in Mark, and Mark only. But 20 year old Mark only smiled, holding a hand up to his face to hide the second hand embarrassment he got from when the couple tripped over something and collided with each other, flashing shy smiles at the other.

He later found out that Jungwoo had met someone called Doyoung, and the two had been together for only a few weeks now.

And now, here Mark was, walking past the couple he was just thinking about, shaking his head at the childish memories, only to realise he was late.

"Shit!" He said, face palming and then hurrying down the streets, looking around and trying to search for the person.

"Mark hyung!" They called out from behind him, and Mark quickly turned around, ready to be enveloped in the hug he always gave.

"I'm sorry I'm late Donghyuck." Mark apologised, pulling away from the hug, but letting his hand linger on the youngers waist.

"It's okay Mark hyung." Donghyuck laughed softly, before intervining his fingers with the hand over his waist. "I'll always wait for you."

Mark always found love difficult, but with Donghyuck, it was much easier saying bye to his first.