A Story Of Another Black Girl (Chapter 2)

Pregnacy Nightmare

That night was the first night Rico had ever hit her, but it definitely wouldn't be the last. What started off as anger towards her turned into something much worst, it turned into hatred. It started to seem like it became a mission to torture her. Beating her up, apologizing, saying he's changed, they fuck, & then the cycle continues. It was changing her, killing her spirit & she didn't know what was worse him beating her ass or the sex because even though he wasn't deep inside his penetrations was hurting. She couldn't stop going back though, she needed him, she needed that love he gave her when he wasn't hurting her, that attention she didn't get anywhere else. She was desperate for love, & attention & he wasn't a bad nigga when he wasn't beating her, so maybe it had to be her right? Maybe if she did what she was supposed to do & maybe if she didn't piss him off he wouldn't hit her. Because if he didn't give a fuck about her he wouldn't feel the need to get so pissed off he had to put his hands on her, maybe that was a sign he really did love her. What started off as pain for her turned into pleasure & as long as he was satisfied she wouldn't have anything to worry about right? Everyday her mama left for school & everyday he would come over & they would fuck. It wasn't long before the rumors got so bad about her being a thot, that they got back to her mama. So as any black mama would do she put her on birth control because if her daughter "wanna be a hoe she can be a hoe, but she not raising nobody else fucking kids in her house". A week later her, her sister, & her mother went to Hammond for a weekend. See her sister's people was from Indiana so they went there as often as they could. While they was there she got out the shower one day & as she was slipping on her bra & white liquid came from her titty. "What the fuck"?.... She called her mama in the room to see because she thought maybe she was tripping. She didn't know what it was & it had never happened before, her mama looking confused squeezed her breast & it squirted out again. Her mama looked at her for a while wide eyes & a face full of disappointment, then walked off. "Bring yo ass here" she heard her mama say in the other room. She went in & saw her mama on the phone calling someone, as she walked closer her mama started feeling her stomach. She hears someone pick up the phone on the other line & even though she can't make out all the words she hears her mama say "No next week is fine, she's just coming in for a pregnancy test" She walks off & back into the other room & starts to quietly cry. Her & Rico never used condoms but she never thought about the risks. She never thought about what could happen having sex unprotected, she was only 11 & at that very moment it seemed like she was getting thrown into womanhood abruptly. What the fuck would she do with a baby, where would she go, & how the fuck would she tell Rico? He's the only person she's scared of more then her mama & he would black both of her eyes if he found out. The weekend is coming to a end & they have to head back. Her mama hadn't said anything to her the whole weekend & the car ride back home was worse. She could feel the anger & disappointment from the back seat but it wasn't that, that was killing her. It was the deadly silence, the not knowing of what's the come. They get back & the next day she's outside, she stays close to her building today, she can't afford to run into Rico right now. She see's Rico sister walking past so she speaks, & instantly regrets it. His sister starts walking towards her & pulls her from the breezeway to talk. "Guh where you been, ian see you all weekend", she says. "We went to my granny house for the weekend", she says back. As they are talking the secret that she may be pregnant is weighing heavy on her chest, & it starts to feel as if it's burning a hole right through her throat to the point where she just couldn't keep it to herself so she spilled it. She knew better then to tell his sister, but she has no one to confide in, no one to run to, she has no one to ease the hurt anymore & she thought maybe confiding in his sister might help take the load off her. She felt his sister's eyes like daggers on the side of her face as they were walking. "You fucking pregnant?!", "ooohh guh my brother gone fucking trip", she said laughing. She made his sister swear to not tell nobody, not even her brother at least not until next week when she would know for sure. His sister promised, & she believed her. For once she felt like she had a real friend, someone she could run to. But she was wrong & little did she know there was a hurricane coming her way & there was nothing that could stop it. The next day she comes outside again, but this time is different, it seems like the entire world is staring at her. A group of girls are laughing & whispering as she walks by, & she has a feeling in her gut that she knows why. She see's KeKe for the first time since that night, & she comes up to her like she just heard the news of the century. "Bitch why I heard you fucking pregnant by Rico bitch"? It felt like those words punched her in the stomach & knocked the wind out of her. "Who told you that", she responded to KeKe. KeKe says it's been going around & that everybody knows. Keke then tells her Rico said he's looking for her but she knows it's not to talk. She feels her gut drop & instinctively looks around for him. If he finds her, she knows no one will save her, no one will fight by her side but most importantly no one will stand up to him. She's on her own & she knows that. She rather die right now then to face him again, every time he hits her he's relentless, reckless, it feels like he takes his demons out on her & she can't fight back. She tells Keke she'll see her tomorrow, & that she has to go in. If only see had kept her mouth closed, if only she'd never trusted anyone to begin with she wouldn't be in this predicament. Something big was coming & she felt it, she just didn't know when.