Troyler One-Shot Collection

♥️Troyler Digifest Kiss♥️

Tyler POV

Well, I assume I don't have to catch you up on why we agreed to do this, but I'll sum it up anyways: In a livestream, Troye Sivan told our viewers live that we'd kiss if they raised $500,000 for the Trevor Project. I wasn't sure if his motives, but he never made a big deal about it. We already did the cheek kiss for $200,000, and the shippers went nuts. I pretended that none of it affected me.

But the events of today changed that quite a bit, my friend.

Troye and I were doing a panel today at Digifest, on May 4, 2014, being interviewed by my good friend Korey Kuhl. Before we went out there, I pulled Troye aside, and told him in hushed tones,"Hey, I think we should do what we promised in that livestream today. You know they will never let it go, so may as well get it over with, right?"

His eyes told me he knew without telling him what I was talking about. He nodded, a blank expression on his face, so even I couldn't read him, even though he's pretty much my best friend. I didn't know if he regretted mentioning the deal in the first place, if he was excited, if he was anxious or waiting in anticipation or terrified or grossed out.

See, ever since we did our last two collabs, the Boyfriend Tag and the Face Painting videos, there's been an unspoken tension between us. I think it was mainly because of the fans scrutinization of us, but ever since the people exploded with feels about us, we've been unintentional,y over-analyzing every action we take. We used to be super comfortable around each other, doing things from leaning on each other to sharing food to even sharing beds a couple times. But now we look too far into things, and I think we're both too scared to really consider our relationship.

We talk about everything except for our relationship, really. We're not dating. We've never even kissed on the lips, actually. But there's been an air between us before the tension that spoke levels of more-than-just-friends. Maybe I'm overthinking it again to you, but let me remind you that I've been in many relationships, one even lasting about two years. I know a thing or two about how love works and begins. Trust me on this one.

But we don't approach the topic of our relationship because of the obvious: if it didn't work out well, would it have been worth it in the end? Probably not.

But what if it did work out well?

I think it could, honestly. But I don't let myself linger in the idea, because that hope would be for nothing, I'm afraid. We don't want to overshoot what we have on the chance that we'll lose everything we had. It's a risk that we're apparently not willing to take.

I honestly have no idea how he feels about any of this. He never discusses it, but I know he hasn't dated anyone else, either, lately. And I know that he grew a bit more distant after those collabs were released. But the few times I've commented on it or brought it up, not long after the tension started, he brushed the topic away, in a detached voice and persona, and brought up something else to discuss. He did it in a way that I didn't realize what he was doing until long after it happened.

Anyways, my thoughts are interrupted when Korey tells us it's time to go on stage.

Troye POV

I've reached the limit of my fears.

And by that I mean, I've never been so nervous in my life, except maybe when I came out to my father, in this moment right now. And because of that, I've reached the full capacity of the fear section of my brain, so I can't possibly be anymore afraid than right now.

With that in mind, my fear really just cancels itself out. I'm not worried at all, unless I think about my fears, if that makes sense.

Probably not, but let's continue on with the story, shall we?