Troyler One-Shot Collection

❤️Say Something AUception❤️

Basically, this is based off the one-shot by the lovely yet torturous saaachie called Say Something, Troyler AU. If you haven't read it, avoid it at all costs. I'm a cold hearted person. I never cry from these things. You know what happened upon reading this thing?

I sobbed for two fucking hours in bed.

But if you haven't read it, you might not appreciate this one shot as much, so check that out. Just make sure you have a box of tissues with you. If you want to listen to the song Say Something while doing it, because you're Dauntless as fuck, then have fun.

Troye POV

You'd be surprised by how few emails I actually receive in the address I tagged in the description of my Coming Out video. In a way, that's a good thing; less people need help, I can patiently answer all questions I'm sent, and it's easy to sort out the homophobic comments and trash them immediately.

So, naturally, when someone anonymously sent me a link to a fanfiction with the caption,'Just, read it. Please,' I was pretty surprised.

Now, I've read fanfiction before, with Tyler Oakley: the person that millions of people ship me with, my best friend in the world, and the person that I've unfortunately fallen depressingly in love with. A lot of these fanfictions are like slaps in the face, really, and would be even worse of not for the fact that most of the dialogue is cheesy or the fact that most of these were dirty student teacher fics anyways.

I clicked on the link, though, wondering who'd be desperate enough to send this to me on my email account. This particular one was entitled Say Something Troyler AU. The description was depressing enough already, saying:

Troye Sivan had known Tyler Oakley for nine years, and had been in love with him for seven. Through seven years of unwanted feelings of affection in his heart and suffocating heartbreaks, he now desperately wants to let go.

But he also wants Tyler to stop him from walking away.

Warnings:angst. Heavy angst. Mentions of death. Prepare yourself for anything bad.

Well, this sounds promising.

To say the least, going in to it, I was unprepared. Mentions of death really should've tipped me off in the beginning, but I figured it was just me committing suicide again. I seem to self-harm in 75% of the Troyler fanfictions out there, for whatever reason. I understood that self-harm was a real problem, but the idea of me doing it just seemed unrealistic. Yet, tons of people totally see it. I just don't understand.

Anyways, it only had one part to it, but scrolling last the first page and looking at the gauge in the bottom, I realized it was a long one. It started off with Fictional Troye first being hit with the realization that he's in love with Tyler. I could understand that. I've known Tyler in person for almost two years now, and I've known him before that over Skype as well. He's most definitely my best friend, and the shock of my unwarranted feelings being slammed into me hurt me both physically and mentally. I don't even know what made me realize it. I just remembered first thinking it while talking to him on Skype once. I had to end the call early, because I couldn't handle talking to him with the thought in my mind.

I've been in love with him ( to my knowledge ) for about eight months. Not a terribly long time, but still too long for me to appreciate. When I first realized the truth, during that call being made over continents away, and I hung up, I spent the night in tears, wishing that there was any possible way I could convince myself otherwise. But alas, there were no strings to grasp at. In the words of John Green in Paper Towns, people are balloons, and my last string snapped. I was long gone of the deep end at that point.