Kicked Out || Reddie

Part 4

⚠️Warning: Self harm⚠️

Richies POV
For awhile Eddie just lets me sob onto his shoulder. I bet he can't believe it. Richie Trashmouth Tozier is fucking crying. I'm probably just weirding him out, and he's to nice to shove me off of him. That's what I love about Ed's. He's so sweet and kind, and of course, adorable. Unlike me. I'm just fat, ugly, and worthless. All I really ever do is bother all of my friends. Shit, I'm probably bothering Ed's right now. Of course I don't wanna bother Ed's, so after a while of crying to him, I stand up and head over to the bathroom with my bag. Eddie asks me where I'm going, but I ignore him and keep walking. I shut the bathroom door behind me and sit on the floor. I sob. I sob my heart out. My feelings have been bottled up for way to long, and now that I've shown them, I just can't stop. I don't show that my dad beats me and that I'm broken because of it, I don't show that my fucking parents don't give a shit about me, and I don't show that I'm fucking gay and the whole towns gonna absolutely hate me for it. So I'm broken. Absolutely, positively, broken. I roll down my sleeve and look at my scarred wrist. I promised myself I would try to stop, that it wasn't good that I do this. I've not cut for a full week now, but I need to. You're just a fat, ugly, annoying, and useless faggot. Just one cut. One cut and you'll feel all better. I try not to reach for my bag, I really do. But I don't want to hurt like this. So I reach for my bag and search through it. I find a razor blade. My new razor blade, and, sobbing, I put the blade against my skin, and pressing hard, I drag it across my wrist. I drop the razor, and let the blood flow. I watch it go down my arm. And there's a lot of it. I normally don't cut that deep, but now I feel better. But not good enough. One cut turns into two, two to three, and I'm about to drag the blade again when I hear a knock on the door. I quickly shove the very bloody razor in my bag and pull my sleeve over the cuts and all the blood.
"Richie, you okay in there?" Eddie asks
"Y-yeah..." I say, trying to quickly pull myself together.
"Fuck." I mumble and see blood dripping from under my sleeve. I try to soak up the blood with my sleeve, but it's no use, there's too much blood.
"Richie? Can you please open the door?" Eddie asks, sounding very worried.
"Uhhh... yeah...." I say scanning the bathroom floor and trying to make sure there's no visible blood. I hesitantly open the door to Eddie, just standing there.
"So... what were you doing?" Eddie asks
"I was... uhhh... going to the b-bathroom?" I say, sounding unsure.
Eddie gives me a you're totally lying straight to my face look, and moves on from the topic.
"Well, I have an idea." Eddie says
"What's your-"
"Why's your sleeve so, like, reddish?" Eddie asks looking at my gray sleeve, that's stained red.
"Oh... um... I just- I just um..." I try to think of something to say. "I..."
"Rich, what's wrong?" Eddie asks, obviously concerned.
I shrug, horrified.
Eddie walks up to me, and kneels down in front of me. Gently, he grabs to top of my sleeve and gently scoots my sleeve up. He sees the fresh cuts, dripping with blood. "Oh Rich..." Eddie says, looking at me with an expression I can't place.
"I... Ive got to go." I say, grabbing my bag and taking off out of the house, horrified that Eddie saw my cuts. I hear Eddie call for me. I ignore him and hop on my bike. I go to Bevs house. I walk through the apartment building and knock on her door. Bev opens the door with a surprised expression on her face.
"Oh! Richie! Hey." She says, stepping out of her apartment and closing the door. "Nows not a great time." She whispers
"Is your dad home?" I ask quietly.
"Yeah." She says, sighing. "Can you come back later?"
"Maybe. I don't know. Bye, Bev."
Bev almost goes back into her apartment, but then she eyes the bag in my hands.
"What's the bag for?"
"Nothing."
"Why are you here, Richie?"
"Am I not allowed to want to talk to my friend?" I try to joke.
She looks at me suspiciously. "Rich, why are you actually here?"
"Because... I just really need someone to talk to." I say
"Well, just go to like Bill, or Stan, or Mike, anyone really."
"No. I need to talk to you." I say, feeling like Bev is the only one who wouldn't judge me for cutting.
"Why me?"
"Nothing. Never mind. See you tomorrow." I mutter walking away.
"Rich?! Richie come back?!" Bev kind of shouts.
I just keep walking. Bev runs to catch up with me. She grabs my cut wrist to stop me.
"Ow! Shit let go!" I say in pain. Beverly looks at me, then her hand with some of my blood from my sleeve on it, and then my stained gray sleeve.
"Is this what you wanted to talk about?" She asks softly.
"No. Never mind. Just... go resume what you were doing before I bothered you." I say.
"Rich, you're not bothering me. How about we talk at your house?" Bev offers.
"I'm afraid that won't work." I say, running off. Bev yells for me, but I don't stop. I leave that apartment building, soaking my sneakers on the snow, but not caring at all. I hop on bike, and go to the quarry. Once I get there, I sick on a big covered-in-snow rock. I sigh and pull up my bloodstained sleeve, revealing my scarred and cut wrist, which is somehow still bleeding. I pull my sleeve back down, and just stare at the edge of cliff.
"I thought I might find you here." I voice, Eddies voice, says from behind. "You okay?"
"Yeah, fucking fantastic." I say, suddenly sounding harsh.
"What's wrong Rich?"
"Oh you know, my parents just kicked me out, and now my best friend probably thinks I'm a freak." I say, a tear rolling down my cheek. Lord, I'm crying again.
"I don't think your a freak, Rich." Eddie says in a voice barely above a whisper.
"Well everyone else will."
Eddie leans over a hugs me. "Rich, no one will think your a freak."
"Well, my parents sure do."
"Rich, you don't have to answer if you don't want to, but why did your parents kick you out?"
I shrug, because I'm to ashamed to tell Ed's.
Eddie sighs. "Okay."
"Do you wanna spend the night? My mom isn't gonna be home until tomorrow."
"Yeah, thanks." I say, and we hop on our bikes and go to Eddies house.