Love For Real

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I smiled and mouthed to Joon “I love you.” He smiled and mouthed back “I love you too.” And he took my hand in his. I felt loved for the first time.

We left the two in the living room and went to my room. The lights were off and we turned on the lamp, laying down in bed. I sighed and Joon looked at me. “What’s wrong?” He asked, taking his shirt off. Damn, he looked good, and that was all mine now. He was all mine. I smiled. “Nothing’s wrong.” Closing my eyes and sitting down on the bed, I thought to myself. How did I get this lucky? I should be running, still from my past, crying, lonely. I shouldn’t be with him, or here, this happy and this fortunate.

“Alex?” I looked up at Joon. “Hm?” He patted the spot next to him and I crawled over to him, climbing under the covers by him. Cuddling next to him, I breathed in and then out slowly. "What’s on your mind?” He asked, his warm chest under my head, hands on tracing his abs. “Not much, I’m just, thinking.” He smiled. “About?” I knew he was going to ask that, dammit. I have to tell him, he’s not my mom or my brother who I can just lie to and pretend nothing’s going on. He’s my boyfriend now and I have to tell him everything.

I took a deep breath and told him. “About how I shouldn’t be here, this happy, this, fortunate.”
Pausing, he let me continue. “I should be running from everything, wanting to end it all, crying, lonely. I don’t deserve this Joon.” I wanted to cry, but stopped the tears. Joon pushed me up and looked at me with serious eyes. “Don’t think like that. You deserve this and everything that’s going to hit you. Believe me. I know what’s coming, and you will get it.” He smiles and lifts my shirt over my head. Blushing, I covered my body.

Joon took my hands and brought me closer to him. “Don’t hide. I’m not here for your body, or to judge you. I’m here for you. Your looks are just an add on.” I smiled and laid my head on his chest again. He wrapped his arms around me, shaking his head. “Don’t think those things. You’re beautiful.” I brought my hands down after hearing him and let him see me for me. Don’t be scared. He’s not going to hurt you like everyone else. I smiled and looked down at my body. White, skinny, small boobs, not what anyone would want.

Give it up! He wants you! Not your body! I listened to myself and gave up. Laying down on Joon,
I looked at him. “Will you stay with me?” He looked at me like I was mental. “Of course! That’s
not even a quetion!” He kissed me and shut the lights off, leaving us in the dark room, together, alone. I loved him, and there was no doubt about it that this was where I was meant to be. I smiled once again.

“Don’t leave me.” I said, pulling away from the kiss. “I won’t leave you. You’re too cute for me to leave.” Ain’t nobody ever called me cute before. This is how I knew it was real.

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⏰ Last updated: Aug 24, 2019 ⏰

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