Jisung's POV
A curve creeps to my lips and my eyes turns into a cresent with flowing tears starting to leak at the same time. My hands were covering my mouth resulting to muffeld the noise i make.
I was glad, glad at how days comes by fast and ends too soon. That each day was an erasable mark in our minds by just being with each other's arms linked in together, warming my gloomy day as we cuddle up all day long and how you vitamized me with your addicting kiss just to fill up my energy battery again. But behind all these feelings, beyond all these memories, i can't deny this agony pounding inside me. That i didn't trust him, judge him quickly without thinking he might have reasons. I should have talked to him and not ignore all the peculiar action that he've made when i already know something was up. And all i can do was to suffer apologize a million times even though i know i'll get no response.
I took a deep breath and expect to see more on the note i was holding. Lifting the pages where i found the letter i had red a while ago and to my luck i indeed see more. It wasn't a letter tho but it was more like a diary just like what i suspected. This was a diary of him but it was seperated to the others, it only had one date it was when one week and three days before our anniversary and i was surely wondering what content it had.
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Sept. 5
Today was my first trial as expected it wasn't easy as im the gum one between us, but i tried, honestly i tried it's just hard not to stick with him. Day one i 'tried' to lessen the interaction. He's kind of a oblivious person though he didn't even realize im not saying any word and end up he enjoying with the gang, but i know to myself he'll hate me soon. I hope.
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After that miserable day not talking to him, here i am hesitating and questioning myself. It was all natural to me that he didn't respond quickly as i did, but this time i did not just ignoring the messages but i also lie about not noticing them although he just shrugs it off. Day two i 'tried' not to reply his messages,
but i know myself he'll hate me soon. I hope.
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My conscience has been bugging me all night, it was already 3 am and im still awake it was because of this. I left the school earlier than usual and not even bothering to update him about it. In short i ditched him, we've been used to the holding hands tho i picked him up to school but bring home wasn't in my vocabulary right now. Day tree i 'tried' not to go bring him home,
but i know to myself he'll hate me soon. He must be.
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Fuck! He wasn't on school and it was all my fault. Why? Is because im the one who brings umbrella he said he was lazy to bring them and wanted to share with me! isn't it the cutest? *sigh* i swear i could kill myself right now for leaving him alone. That means no umbrealla, Jisung will get wet resulting him to have a high fever. He said he was sick which i saw through the screen, though i haven't seen it since i have to, i need to. Day four i 'tried' to ignore Jisung even though he was sick. I ordered soup for him so i don't need to go in his house, and then again i know to myself he'll hate me now for sure..i guess??
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It hurts... yes he is oblivious sometimes but he was sure not dumb. I knew he already suspecting things and that makes me sad and seeing his opposite side hurts me well. He was still having fever i guess but thats not the case where he slumped his palm to his face and just playing with his cheese cake. It was working my plan was working. Day five it was 'working' everything was effective. Im not just sure if he'll hate me yet but surely he will. He have to.
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Weekend passed but we still get untouched. No chatting , no calling , no meeting up , everything no. Jisung was sure now asking whats happening but i know no one can answer that except me myself. Tommorrow was the last draw and it was the last thing i need to do. Jisung was a warm hearted person he never get mad easily but sure he was getting a little upset right now he might also be crying all night and the puffyness and the how red of his eyes were the evidence. The 'last card' tom. and the endings of all this shit. He'll hate me im sure, sure as fuck i could die. He must.
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FUCKKKK!!!! I saw him cry not an eye to eye but it each drop of tears was a stab to my heart! Shit he was just standing in there slowly his tears flows like water falls because of me! All me! I didn't know this is what i could get, fuck it hurts, it hurts so bad. I kissed the girl who was my ex girlfriend, i ask her pretending i was about tell her something important when i pull her lips to mine and that exact right time, in that right place and in that right place my whole world crush as a blink of an eye. His whole body was trembling and i could see to my pheriperal vision he was mummbling something. I let a tear escape as i continue to kiss the girl and i didn't enjoyed it i definitely did not. I saw how his body getting weak and about to fall when Seungmin comes and im thankful for it. The last day, my last show, the end of everything at last i could finally set him free from this terible man who hurt the most precious human being on earth. And im fucking sure and without hesitation he HATES me now. And that will never change.
He.Hates.Me and im happy for that....
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YOU ARE READING
Fireflies //hjs x lmh//
FanfictionWhen 'forgetting' is a solution in Jisung's head. He and Minho broke up in few months ago. But this option was not as what he expects, it looks like his own plan was betraying him. Short chaps. But gets longer at the end, text at the first part~ Nev...
