The Pictures We Paint/ #wattys2019

12

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I stepped into my home, tired and weary, bones aching, mind racing with thoughts. Hanging my jacket up I walked down the hallway, head pounding.

People become traumatised after experiencing situations similar to mine, I couldn't imagine what I'd might experience as an aftermath.

Didn't PTSD patients lose sleep and have nightmares? Constantly jumping at their shadows, cowering in fear for a period of their lives. Was I going to become like that? Would I have to repeatedly re-live my memories.

I wondered whether I should tell my mother about the horrific ordeal but decided against it, she'd never believe me, no one would.
None ever did.

Voices drifted from the living room as I neared the doorway, I walked absently towards the entrance. Lunch had already been served with wine and other alcoholic beverages as every Friday due to tradition and the table had been cleared.

No surprise, when I stepped inside the room, a blanket of silence slammed abruptly down on my family members, they stared at me angrily, narrowed eyelids, curling mouths. I braced myself for the colossal wave of acidic words that would be thrown at me.

"How dare you. You-you disobeyed me, ME. You all saw what she did didn't you? This morning? Running out the house into the crazed farmers, ignoring my orders, I can't even- just imagine that." My mother cried, her chest heaving, words barely forming a complete sentence.

I didn't have to listen to them, I didn't have to take this.

"I don't care for what you all have to say. I know, you all want to have a little belt out to make yourselves feel better about your boring mundane lives, small announcement. I won't let you do it to me anymore." I turned away from them, towards the dining table, spying the alcohol cabinet.

I kept seeing her. Her face blazing before my eyes, I could feel her cold fingers, smell the metallic sent of her blood.

I needed to forget. I needed a release.

I strolled over to the glass cabinet as though in command, the liquor glasses stood glinting temptingly and began pouring myself a drink.

I swung a gulp of what I assumed was vodka and turned back to my family. They looked as though an invisible force and stretched parts of their faces. Eyebrows up, mouth down, eyes wide. I fought the urge to laugh and took another swing.

"You know, you remind me of something, a cat- no a dog, you know how they run around chasing their own tails and when they bite it, the face they make, that bark as well," I snorted with laughter, pausing to take another slip.

"Yeah, you all look just like that, especially that one." I pointed to my mother.

"You know the last time she had that look? When father died, yeah- she had this expression of- man what was it?" I cocked my head in mock thought and snapped my fingers.

"Ah, surprise and justification, like you had already foreseen it all." I placed the now empty cup down and walked towards the door, my vision blurring slightly.

"What are you doing child?" Uncle Herbert exclaimed,

"Amelia! Have you completely lost your mind!" Aunt bell chimes along with him.

I glanced at them, rolling my eyes.

"Yes, yes I have, I'm not sure where it went, it told me it would be back soon but I've haven't seen it since, Herbert be a dear and if you do come across, tell it I'm don't want it back. It looks a bit like a frog by the way and has 'fuck you' tattooed on its head." I smiled at him and nodded, relishing in their aghast expressions.

"What have I done to deserve this? Oh lord, what have I-" my mother began sobbing hysterically.

"Think really hard mother, maybe for once you'll realise what you've done to me, but take your time of course, I won't hold my breath."

I flopped down on the sofa but felt slumped and dizzy.
This wasn't me, I never drank, never. How had I come like this?

"The reveal is in less than three hours you stupid girl, try to act like a lady for Daisy's sake. What if she's chosen huh? Would you stagger up the stage like a nasty drunkard?This is such a huge night for all of you!" Aunt Gloria hissed.

"Why would I go up if Daisy's chosen? Use logic for once Gloria, I know you've probably never heard of it since you're as dumb as they come but at least pretend to know what you're saying," I replied airily. "And besides, fighting for a mans hand that you don't even love or care about is stupidity at its highest level, but what would you know Gloria? Herbert regrets saying yes to you since the day of your engagement."

"Alright that's enough, god act like a lady, this is shocking coming from you Amelia, Daisy would never act like this!" Uncle benny said, staring at me in shock.

I had felt oddly free ever since I had woken up this morning, the shackles had been striken off my soul and the boulders rolled of my chest.

Now that the memory of the dead girl had faded with the help of alcohol, I began to relax, words rolling easily off my tongue.

I turned sideways at Uncle Benny and smiled, "I'm as much of a lady as you are of a man Benny, which isn't much to say so for the least but damm hell, Its so hard sometimes to keep on a silly show that you actually care about things like that when you honestly don't,"

And it was true, for once I didn't have to continually smoothen down my voice, cleanse my tone of any remote offence.

For once I didn't have to double think every word I spoke and for the first time in forever I could say whatever I wanted.

"I told you this would happen Sandra, told you not to marry that crazy fool, this child will destroy you just like her father tried to," Gloria exclaimed, her gazed moving up and down rapidly as though I would jump on her at any second.

"I shall have to inform you Aunt I'm not a child and what I'm doing is something called thinking for myself, it was bestowed upon us by God in case your unaware which you probably are, it's quite a simple concept really, have you ever tired it? Thinking I mean?
I guess not but that dress. Gosh, It looks a like a second skin, go easy on the cakes Aunt!" I replied airily.

There was an awkward, stiff silence but I'd laid back against the sofa unbothered to say the least.

"Tell her to sleep it off," Carrie whispered to mother, glancing at me worriedly, "she can't go the Contest like that."

"Oh that does sounds wonderful Carrie, I feel exhausted, alright ya'll, though it's only one o'clock, I'll have a small nap," I stood and made my way to the door.

"Oh and before I go I want you to know I will no longer allow myself to live the way I have before, amazing what one letter can do," I chuckled and left the confused faces of my family behind.

Once I tumbled into my bed, I stared up at the ceiling, wondering what would take place later that evening.

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As you can see this is more of a filler chapter, the next chapter would have more action and sparkles and dresses..all the stuff in a huge flashy party. Oh and drama and a surprise y'all ain't ready for!!!!
I love detailed description so the next chapter is going to so much fun to write. Don't forget to voottteee!!!!!!