The Pictures We Paint/ #wattys2019

10

Darkness looms over me, a chilling monstrosity weaved with dread and trepidation. It chokes me, confines me, slowly breaking my sanity piece by piece. Hideous in nature but cowering behind a sheet of mistrustful beauty.

Its wet, slimy tendrils clawing at my throat, drenched in despair, leaving a depressing trail of gloom and sorrow in its wake. Reeking of regret, grief and affliction.

My fear had been following me all this time, my menacing companion, my artful enemy. It encased me in an atmosphere of suffocating standards, doubting my every move, every decision. It cursed me, praised me, warned me, fear controlled me.

It held me by the throat as prisoner but now fate would prise it's fingers of my neck, break its chain and I'd taste the bittersweet taste of freedom.

I would leave fear and fear would leave me.

I clutched the letter against my chest and sighed in relief, it would end soon, the disappointment, the constant dashing of hopes, the tears would soon dry and pain would fade to a dull throb. I tried to smile but my lips trembled.

I don't want to die. I haven't lived.

I wailed these words in my mind and sat up on my bed, glancing out the window, the moon looks whole and huge, as though it's all mine.

I haven't lived.

My life has been a sequence of meaningless events, a colourless blur of actions sown together by each breath I took. All the great emotions of life have passed me by, all the excitement, the love, the laughter. I had never got to experience any of that and now I'll never will.

Dear Amelia Justice Lissel,

An incident bobbed to the surface of my racing thoughts, nothing remotely satisfying had ever happen to me but certain events that had taken place along my drab existence came hurling along in my memory as though it had occurred yesterday. All unpleasant.

It's in my regret to inform you that you have an advanced form of congestive heart failure.

When I was sixteen and my cousin Ruth had announced that she was getting married, the whole family was delighted and for weeks the house was an uproar, dresses being brought, decorations being ordered. I eagerly awaited my invitation and even a bridesmaids dress.
I had received neither.

It was only a month ago that daisy finally told me that she overheard Ruth telling my mother that 'she'd ruin the whole image of my wedding, better she doesn't even come' my own mother had wholly agreed.

There isn't much you can do, I advise you to rest and eat plenty of greens. Try not to over exert yourself and make sure you buy the medicine I have enclosed below.

When my father died and mother immediately took down his every picture, burnt every article of clothing, threw out his shoes, perfume, books. If I ever tried to object she'd force me to kneel of the burning concrete outside till I sobbed in apology. She wiped out every sign of her husband in shame and grief, forgetting he was my father too.

Personally I'd give you at least a year, after that year is up, a complete heart failure could occur at anytime, at any place. If you feel anymore sudden pains then immediately take two pills of the medication, it will help.

When I was eighteen and fell in love with Caleb. I imagined he loved me as well since I gave him all that I had, showered him with gifts and money, all my time and energy was invested in him.

I was ecstatic when he did little as smile in my direction which was all he really did and when I found him in the park kissing daisy, I realised he'd never love me, that no one in their right mind would.

Feel free to contact me for any inquires, you could go to the capital and ask the specialists to lengthen that time with countless of surgeries but it'll be extremely expensive and I'm afraid that there isn't much hope for you case.

When I was thrown into the pool that summer when I turned eight by girls who I thought were my friends, when I was humiliated at the public speaking contest at fifteen because the teacher thought it would be amusing if he called out my name as the winner but when I climbed up the stage, my face beaming, heart glowing, he told the whole school that I had gotten the lowest score instead. I can still hear the echoes of the students laughter to this day.

Your sincerely,
Doctor Andrew Truce

I screwed up the letter in anger and threw across the room. Rebellion flared up in my soul and I became furious.

"All my life I have been trying to please people, where has that got me?" I paced back and forth across the room, my mind racing to a conclusion.

"I have been breathing an air of pretence, lies, evasions and I'm sick of it." I pulled my hair out it's neat bun and shook it out, letting it fall down my back.

"No more pleasing other, no more backing down, I will stand up for myself, I will refuse to be silenced. If I have one year left to live," I grinned savagely at my reflection on the window. " well then, let's live it well."

I had no idea how to write this chapter but I think I finally got it right. Amelia's turned into a badass!! Get ready for some rebel moments!!

Vote and comment, hope yall liked it.