Jayda
Every other week Ms. Lisa always one and check on me and my baby almost 3 months into the pregnancy, I'm starting to show my pictures on the internet starting to get old. Tay acting weird he asked to spend a day with me just to talk to me he wanna confessed something about what happened to me that night.
"Juice, someone's at the door for you." My mother said as she got ready to walk out the door for work. I slowly got off the bed and wobbled to the door. It was Tay, my heart started beating fast a whole bunch of shit started running through my head. I just looked at him no words exchanged.
"Hey Jayda, I wanna talk to you about something can we go somewhere private." Tay said as he rubbed his hands like he was scared.
This is the first time he ever called me by my first name it must be something very serious, I opened the door wide so we can go to my room and talk. We walked upstairs and came into my room, I looked down while Tay got comfortable on my beanbag.
"Okay, Jayda before I say anything I want to say sorry I didn't mean to hurt you this kind of way. I really liked you and I didn't know how to express it so I slipped something into your drink and me and Devin ran a train on you and I recorded you and took pictures of your body. Everything about this was planned I'm the one who nutted in you, you're the one who's having my child. I know you're mad at me I don't blame you." Tay said as he put his head in his hands.
I couldn't believe it I couldn't do anything but cry. He looked up at me and started coming towards me, I backed away I couldn't look at him the same. Every damn feelings for him went down the drained and now I'm having his child.
"So code 9 was a bill cobsy, I was so fucking stupid to take the drink and the worst thing I'm having your child." I said wiping my tears, he sat back starting at my medium size belly.
"I'm sorry, I'm truly am I couldn't tell you then because I was scared for you, and people at the school already hated you." Tay said as he tried to grabbed my arm. I let him grabbed me he will suffer, my mother will suffer. Just as told me I felt depress I didn't want no one help.
"It's okay, I want you to suffer on how I suffer, I want everyone to suffer just like me." I pushed Tay away.
I told him to get out my house, he did what I told him. I wrote a suicide note to everyone in one note and a separate one for my baby.
Dear. Mom
As you reading this I'm either crying or about to harm myself I don't want myself anymore. I hate myself as your little angel looking down on you I want you to take care of my baby tell her/him everything I did to make them. I don't want you to be mad at me of what I did be mad at the person who made me do it. He slipped something in my drink and got me pregnant and I'm the only bitch that had to suffer all because his ass likes me and didn't know how to express it. As your only child kills herself I want you to keep my diary read all my real feelings make into something better than me.
I now hate myself and I hate that I'm pregnant to a deadbeat ass boy who recorded me and took pictures of my body without my permission. I love you mom and everything will be okay I'm not in no pain anymore.
Your little angle Jayda ❤️.
Dear my little baby,
Mommy looking down on you, I'm sorry you didn't get to see me because a bad man hurt your mommy and mommy wasn't in the right state of mind. I will be with you every step of the way, it's not your fault mommy hurt herself, mommy hates herself because there's no other way to express my feelings and I feel like nobody gives a damn about me. When you get married and have kids I will be right there with you. I don't want you to feel any type of way, just because I left because I didn't want you. I love you baby and I want you to be happy even when you think of me. But be grateful for everything you have in life and don't make ay mistake if a nice boy likes you and offers you a drink don't take it . Politely decline.
Your mother Jayda 💕
Dear Seven,
Remember that time I said I want you to suffer, this is what I mean by suffer now you have a child on the way and your baby mother killed herself because you made her feel worthless and like hoe and make me feel like I wasn't good enough when you should've told me you wanted me for sex and decided to record me and take pictures of me and leaked them to the internet like a damn fool. But I forgive you I just want you to suffer now my mom can't look at you the same of what you did, people in school, or your child congratulations you officially a damn clown. But one thing that will mess up your head is I love you cause you gave me a child I could love more than yourself.
Jayda 🖤
I fold all the letters and put names on them and for my baby (for a girl: Deyja) (For a boy: Christopher). I cried as I really about to harm myself, and make my baby suffer but I decided to do it when I'm really alone to really end my life.
My phone started ringing it was Tay, I rolled my eyes. I answered it all I heard was his cries and he told me he's coming back to my house. I hid my knife and pills under my pillow, just when I'm about to end my pain he will called.
He bust in my door, and hugged me and kissed my stomach.
"I had a vision that you wrote everyone a suicide note, and killed your self same day. You told me you want me to suffer." Tay said as he cried in his hands.
He was right I was about to end my pain right there, but didn't want to tell him how I wanna end my pain. He kept repeating I don't want to suffer for the rest of my life. I want to him to suffer that's the way I express it to him I love him. On top of that give him a baby.
More to come, updating another chapter today.
