~~~
Marianne: So today I'm asking Lorenz if I can borrow some money to take all the girls on a trip to Almyra. I think it would be good for all of us to go and have fun somewhere, without having to deal with drama
~~~
Marianne, on the phone: heyyy
Lorenz on the other end: SuP babe
Marianne: I was wondering if you could fund a trip for me and the girls to go Almyra
Lorenz: anything for you sweet cheeks. I love you
Marianne: thanks byeee
*hangs up*
•°•°•°
*at the airport*
Hilda: Omg is that Lorenz's private jet
Lysithea: Well obviously, can't you tell?
Dorothea: oh boy
~~~
Dorothea: So last week, Marianne decided to plan a trip for all the girls. Obviously she's trying to flaunt the fact that she and her husband have more money than me. To top it all off, Lysithea, as per usual, is acting like she's smarter than all of us. This trip is already off to a great start.
~~~
Lysithea: I read a BuzzFeed article on Almyra guys, If you have any questions you can just ask me
Mercedes: Actually Lorenz provided a native to help us navigate and speak the language
Cyril: ... wait are you talking about me? That's why I'm here? I don't think-
Hilda: Ugh I hate Almyrans
Bernadetta: Um idk I think that's kinda racist
Hilda: oh shiT is it? Sorry
*Lorenz walks out of plane wearing a Hawaiian shirt with khaki shorts*
Lorenz: You ladies ready to go?
Marianne: ok guys lets go
*cool transition of a plane going from Fodland to Almyra*
Ingrid: Omg we're finally here I'm actually dying of starvation
Dorothea: you literally just ate 7 bags of potato chips you fattass
Hilda: Ugh its kinda ho- oMFG that's a fuCKing wYvErn wTf
Mercedes: aHHHHhh quiCK get back in the pLanE
Dorothea: aHH what if it tries to use my hair as a nEst
Lorenz: I'll protect you Mar- hOLy shiT every man for hiMseLf
*All the women, along with Lorenz get back on the plane*
~~~
Hilda: so we get to Almyra and the first thing we're greeted by a wyvern? This place is messed up. What in the goddess' name was Marianne thinking? I blame her creepy husband, Lorenz
~~~
Dorothea: What do I think of Marianne's husband? He's really weird. I can't believe she likes him, he's kinda ugly too.
~~~
Cyril: Um guys, it's not like the wyvern is on the loose or anything, he's just being ridden across the sky by a professional...
Lysithea: Well duh, I knew that
Mercedes, whispering to Dorothea: idk why but I feel like Lysithea might not be telling the truth
Dorothea: wow
~~~
Dorothea: So we get to Almyra right? Right off the plane, All the rest of the girls start freaking out, then Lysithea acts like she's better than everyone, and lastly Mercedes is actually being stupid. But you know what? That's what you bitches get for flaunting your abundant riches in my face.
~~~
Hilda: Ok so uh... Cyril, can you be a doll and ask one of the natives how to get to the resort
Cyril: ... are you aware they speak english?
~~~
Cyril: Do I know why I'm here? No. I have absolutely no idea. I was just having a chat with Claude and Byleth, then suddenly I was on a plane. Was I kidnapped? I don't know. It's a very real possibility considering how creepy Lorenz is, though.
~~~
Dorothea: Marianne? Are you aware that when we were all running back onto the plane you pushed me?
Marianne: Oh I did? Sorry I didn't mean to
Dorothea: What? Is that rich talk for 'Yeah what are you gonna do about it'?
Marianne: Uh... no? What are you saying?
Dorothea: Are you seriously looking down on me because I'll spill lipstick in your bag
Marianne: You'll wh-
Lorenz: Excuse me but what are you saying to my wife?
Dorothea: This is none of your business-
*Lorenz then proceeds to use his pepper spray on Dorothea*
All the girls: aHHHH
~~~
Hilda: So. what just happened exactly?
~~~
///TO BE CONTINUED///>>>
seriously where the hell is this book going
YOU ARE READING
The Real Housewives of Fódlan
FanfictionHelp Its the Real Housewives except with 3 Houses what do you expeCt
