A Moment to Forget

I mumbled as I snapped my head with pillows. It's already past twelve midnight and I can't get myself to sleep. This has been happening to me for three consecutive days and my eye bags has been the proof of these terrible nights. 

Images are passing through my heads. Moments of the past keep playing into my brain. I can't find any compound to melt these thoughts and eventually forget them. 

"Don't be afraid to fall, just let yourself feel what it needs to feel, it's never a mistake to love someone," it's the line that keeps replaying into my ears. 

"I can't live like this," i murmured to myself. I can't let myself fall because of teases and fake love bridges! 

I lay in bed as comfortable as I could and covered my whole body with my blanket ornate with hundreds of of little flowers. 

I tried to sing a lullaby and close my eyes. I tried to free my mind of anything that has something to do with him. I replace it with Science and imagine how vast the universe is, how beautiful the galaxies are, I journeyed my mind through the stars. 

I could feel that my system is having it's shallow dream and at any moment my body would gave up on it's own and allow slumber to won. 

I smile as I gaze the Milky Way Galaxy, it's beautiful and amazing! I could even see myself flying through space without any space suits. I feel relax and free but suddenly, I saw a man, I went near him. I knew this man, could this man possibly be my soulmate ? He's infront of me, his looks were quiete serious, I smiled at him. He's the man who keeps staying up late in my mind and now here we are face to face. I couldn't describe what I feel, it's beyond joy. 

"Zachery," I whispered. 

He looks at me.

"Can I ask you something? he asks in manly tone. 

I'm not sure if he could hear the loud racing heart beat of mine, it's very deafening but I manage to stay calm, I nod as a response. 

"Will you please FORGET me ?" declared he. 

I'm not sure if I heard it correctly. 

"Yes, you heard it correctly," he answered as if he could read my mind. 

It's like I was struck by a thunder. Time stops, I could sensed it. 

"but. . . , " I protested. 

He didn't let me finish, "Look I'm sorry," he said, "it was not my intention to hurt your emotions but I don't want that feelings of yours to grew stronger, it would hurt you much deeper." 

"How could . . ?" again, he didn't let me finish. 

"It was just a joke ! It's not true, my friends were just making fun of me." he explained. 

How did he know what I was going to ask him, I was right, it was just a joke, everything was just a joke, when his peers and my friends told me that he likes me.

Everything was just a joke and I was carried by that stupid joke. From the very beginning I've already warned myself that it wasn't true. I tried not to fall but I failed, the teases and the jokes were much powerful than I thought. I couldn't help it. And now here I am, rejected, he wants me to forget him, and that's exactly what I want to do, though it hurts I have to do it. 

"Is that exactly what you want me to do?" I asked with a cracked voice. 

A smile, curved into his face. I gave him a smile too. I may be smiling but deep inside I'm actually dying, can't help myself but tears start to fall from my eyes. I want comfort. How I wish he would hug me, but he wouldn't and it hurts more. I cried in tears, seeing him vanish from my eyesight.